The Imitation Royals
by donttalktomeimfangirling
Summary: A magic portal in a hedge drops America and England in a universe completely unlike their own. Can they take on the responsibilities of the runaway heirs to the throne? Cardverse USUK Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or the cover image :)
1. Prologue

**Author's note: So I had a brain explosion at like 2 am yesterday and thus this story happened. I'm still writing my other story but I LOVE Cardverse sooooo yeah! Hope you like this one as well I'll try to update fairly often I'm on summer break now and have all sorts of time :) **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia or the Cardverse!AU **

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Time heals everything, even the affects of war. But time often needed assistance in fixing poor relationships and political disagreements by the people involved. For three hundred years the Kingdom of Cards lay in wait, with small rebellions and angry citizens scattered throughout the land. The King and Queen of Cards could not control the entire kingdom, and the people often went un-attended to and ignored. But none of this is what led to the breaking of the kingdoms. No, that was the Great War. The war between the entire Card Kingdom and invaders from the North; the Chessmen.

For twenty years the Great War raged on, never a clear winner in sight. Millions of lives were lost from all across the kingdom and famine, drought and floods destroyed the land that was left unattended as the people went off to war. Finally the Chessmen were defeated, but the King and Queen of Cards could no longer keep the Kingdom united. Too much damage had been done and the people often blamed other parts of their own kingdom for the war. So they split the Kingdom of Cards into four seperate Kingdoms; The Spade, The Diamonds, The Hearts, and the Clubs.

The Spades became the Western kingdom, known for their use of blue and love of the sea. They became the first new kingdom to evolve as the previous king and queen took power there. The Diamonds moved to the South. Their love of yellow was known throughout the kingdom, they produced the most agriculture, and the old timey feel made it a welcoming place for everyone. The Kingdom of Hearts lay to the West. The color red was used heavily there and they were known for their industry. The Clubs became the Northern most kingdom. They controlled most of the transport of goods through the lands and had a love of green. Finally there was the Jokers. They were magic creatures that lived on a island off the coast and were well known for their mischief. The only reason the kingdoms dealt with them was their help in the Great War, a debt they has to pay. The Jokers would help the kings, queens, and jacks make important decisions that effected the nations as a whole.

One by one the kingdoms began to rebuild. They changed the ruling system to have a king, queen and jack and distributed their duties between the three. Years went by and kings and queens and jacks lived and died, the positions being passed on in multiple ways, either through family blood or special ceremonies individual to the kingdom. Eventually the idea of a king and queen changed as well. The queen no longer had to be female and no marriage was required. They simply ruled together now.

It was this arrangement that starts this story, the story of the new king and queen of Spades. But the new king and queen aren't even a big part of this tale. A switch, a lie, and a rebellion that caused two men to come together in ways they never thought they could. To pull off a scheme that was too insane to even think of. But let's not get carried away yet. First let's go to Earth, a world not so different from the Kingdom of Cards. Countries joining together and fighting. And in this world there were two men, much like the future king and queen of Spades. These men were currently wandering through the woods, utterly lost. The tall younger man would run ahead and climb trees and enjoy the day while the older, more stubborn one walked behind, mumbling quietly about how idiotic his companion was. This is where our story begins; two men wandering through the forest to the most life changing adventure they would ever embark on.

So as all good stories start, once upon a time...


	2. Beware the Evil Badger

**Ok so this chapter is a bit short because I really want to get to the part that actually takes place in Cardverse. Please bear with me if it's boring. I'd hate to bore anyone. :) Thank you for reading and I hope you like this chapter! I'm trying to keep up with my other story so don't worry, I promise to finish that one. I just had like all these epiphanies about Cardverse and they needed to happen. Like now. So that's where I'm at. Please review, reviews literally make my day!**

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"I'm tired. I'm hungry. Where are we? Can we go home? England, are we lost?" England looked up, irritated at the youth swinging from the trees above. He had been asking questions like this since they left England's home about three hours ago, but he was no longer irritated about the questions. Now he was bothered because they were valid. He really didn't know where they were. He had never been this deep into the forest before. America had asked him to go for a walk after lunch and England could never refuse his puppy dog eyes. As soon as they were outside though, America had started complaining. But that was just America's personality.

England sighed as he kept going forward. About an hour ago he had stopped recognizing his surroundings. Now they were horribly and utterly lost. America jumped down from the tree he had been swinging in, startling the older nation. "Seriously dude, where are we." He was actually sincere about this question, not his normal annoying self. England understood his worry. They had no idea where they were and the sun would be setting soon. Tomorrow was the world meeting with the other countries, and if they spent the night in the woods the nations, especially France, would never let them live it down. The sun was setting quickly and it was only four in the afternoon.

His huge eyebrows knitting in frustration, England looked up into America's sapphire eyes. He had always thought those eyes were the beautiful but they were even better when he was scared and sincere. Though he would never tell him, England had always had a small crush on the young nation. His endless energy, his magnetic personality. But England kept this all to himself, never telling anyone his secret. It was just a small admiration anyway… "America. You have asked me that question a hundred times in the last five minutes and my answer remains the same. I do NOT know where we are." With that he spun on his heels and continued walking.

America looked after him, a small smile on his face. England was so cute when he was angry, his huge green eyes flaring up and flashing their emerald glare at him. Alfred enjoyed making him angry to see those raging eyes… and because it was fun. He would never tell England, but he had a tiny little crush on him. Had for a long time. They had been pretty close the last few years, especially since WW2. And in that time he developed an admiration for the Britt; his huge emerald eyes, his messy blonde hair, his rare yet exhilarating smile. But he would never tell Britain. That would be… awkward. No, he would continue taunting the man. He pretended to hate being lost out in the woods with England, but really he was loving it. He really enjoyed just spending time with him.

Rolling his eyes, America ran to catch up with the briskly moving England. "Are you even sure if you're walking in the right direction? We've been going this way for HOURS, so maybe we should try a different path." England whirled on him and crossed his arms. "Then you lead the way, Mr. Hero. Save us and get us out of these woods that neither you or I have ever been in." He stood stalk still, waiting for America to move. Smiling smugly, America stomped off in the complete opposite direction that England had been walking in, followed quickly by a scowling British nation.

Another hour of walking and America slumped down against a tree, absolutely exhausted. Glancing at his watch, England found it was past five o'clock. Sliding down to the forest floor, England sighed. How could they not find their way out? They were horribly lost, hungry and tired. Looking over at the American he said, "So now what? We are even more lost now, thanks to your brilliant idea." Rolling his eyes, America glanced at England. "Don't pin this whole thing on me. You're the one that got us lost in your own forest. You should know your own damn backyard!" Shaking his head England responded, "No no no. You wanted to go for a walk. I was happy sitting on the terrace and reading a book." Scowling America said, "Bombs could be going off and you would be happy reading a book." "Not true. You are just impatient and uncultured!" "Yeah well you're snotty and stuck up!" They were yelling now, faces red and only inches from one another. They looked as though they were about to start fighting, when they heard a twig snap just to the right of them.

Swiveling to see what had made the sound, they forgot their anger. "Hello? Is someone there?" America's voice was shaking, making England roll his eyes. That kid was scared of the stupidest things. Standing up, England walked over to where they heard the sound. "England! Get back here, you don't know what it is!" America hissed at him. "What do you think it is, a monster? We are in the woods America, not a fairy tale." He said this as he reached into the trees, his hands running into something small and furry.

Frowning, he began pushing the brush back. America ran over to him and hid behind the smaller man, terrified what was on the other side, but curious to see all the same. With one final push, England cleared the leaves and out jumped a badger. America screamed and jumped back a few feet while England looked on in surprise. Then he looked at the horrified America and burst into laughter. America narrowed his eyes. "What's so funny? Badgers can be mean." Still laughing, England said, "Oh yes. Beware the evil BADGER!" Falling onto the ground, England clutched his sides. America pouted. He must have looked so stupid.

Suddenly England's laughter was cut off as he cried out in pain. Looking back at Engand, America was horrified to see the badger biting England's wrist. "OOOOOOUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHH!" England's huge eye brows had shot straight up and his eyes were as wide as saucers. He stood up and started shaking his arm, trying to get the rodent free. "America, help me!" At any other time, America would have been laughing. But this was a badger attack. Time for action. Running over to grab the back of the badgers=, he began pulling him off of the nation. England continued screaming and shaking until the badger finally let go.

It dropped to the forest floor as America and England ran to the other side of the clearing. "Beware the veil badger England." America was smirking as England held his arm to his chest. "Save it, you bloody idiot and RUN!" The badger was still angry about being disturbed and had charged them. Spinning on their heels the two men ran through the trees, trying to escape the crazed rodent. They ran for a good five minutes, even after the animal had stopped chasing them, and the only thing that stopped them was a hedge they ran into.

Both men hit the hedge at great speed, and the thorns stuck them all over their body. Falling to the ground, they groaned and breathed heavily. How had this happened to them? England's arm was bleeding from where the badger bit him, and tiny thorn pricks peppered their bodies. Struggling to sit up, America looked up at the hedge. "What the hell…" England followed his eyes and saw what had him so surprised.

The hedge was huge, about thirty feet tall. It was a rose bush too, but the roses were all wilted and dead. It looked like it was once well taken care of and tamed, but now over grown and abandoned. Struggling to his feet, America looked to the left and right to discover that the hedge stretched on for as far as he could see. Except for a large hole about twenty feet to the left. "England come one, lets go inside!" Running to the hole, England called after him, "No don't! I don't know what's in these woods anymore!" Scowling, America returned to pull England to his feet. "But it's an adventure! Please England, just a quick look…." He pulled his puppy dog eyes again, making England groan inwardly. Those damn eyes.

"Fine. But only a quick look." The sun had set over the trees and the light was fading. Smiling, America pulled him to the hole. Looking in, they saw another hedge on the other side identical to the first. A pathway ran between the two and it turned in about three feet to the right and ten to the right. America's eyes lit up. "It's a maze! Oh England, that is so COOL!" Grinning like an idiot, America jumped into the maze and ran to the right. "Wait America, slow down!" England clambered in after America, just catching up with him before he turned another corner. Grabbing his shirt, England pulled him to a stop. "If this is a maze, we shouldn't separate. We may never find the way out. Let's go back and-" England had turned and immediately ran into a hedge wall.

"But we just came from there!" He looked around. There was no way but forward. Glancing at America, he saw the look of fear flash across the boy's face. He would have to stay strong for America. Sighing, he pointed forward. "Apparently this maze is… special. I guess we have no choice but to enjoy your little adventure. Lead the way." America's smile had returned and was bounding down the path while England rushed to keep up with him.

From time to time they would find odd things. White tables and chairs with black spades painted on them. Tea sets intertwined with the vines of the hedge. It was like a sight out of Alice in Wonderland. America loved it. The mystery was a challenge for him, like playing a video game. England simply found it creepy. At one point America found a very interesting artifact on the ground. "Hey England, take a look at this." Walking over to him, England knelt beside the younger country. It was a crown. It probably was silver at one point but had turned brown and corroded over time. It was bent and misshapen, but they were both taken by the beauty of the jewels that were scattered around it.

It was an old fashioned crown, the one seen in old fairy tale movies. It had pointed silver peaks and jewels surrounding it. These jewels were breathtaking sapphires, but they were strange because they seemed to have been carved into the shape of spades. Odd shape to carve a jewel into. "Wonder who's this was?" America's eyes shone with the reflection of the jewels, while England's eye had caught something else. It was another spade sapphire, but this one was inlaid on a small silver pocket watch. It was no longer ticking and the hands were both stuck at twelve. It was a beautiful clock so England went to grab it. The moment he did, the minute hand began to move again.

Screaming, England dropped the clock. America looked over startled. "What's wrong?" "That clock! It started working again when I touched it!" Looking down at the clock, he saw nothing moving now. "But it's not moving at all!" England reached down and tentatively touched it again. Again, the clock ticked as the minute hand moved. But the hour and remained stubborn and un-moving. America's mouth dropped. "WOOOOOOAAAAHHHH! That's AWESOME DUDE!" He broke out in a huge grin. "This is the coolest day EVER!" He looked at the confused England. "Does this have something to do with your magic?" England shook his head. "I don't think so. I'm not trying to do anything at all."

Standing up, America grabbed the crown he found and pulled England up, who was still holding the watch. "Finders keepers, right?" He smiled as he continued through the ever changing maze, with England at his heels. They continued to find strange things, such as belt buckles, statues of horses and table sets. The strangest thing they found was a partially destroyed painting. It had what looked like two men dressed in blue, back to back. One had a cape on and the other was holding a blue rose. They could only see the bottom of the painting as the rest had been burned or decomposed off.

Finally, America sat down, resting against the hedge. England joined him. The sun had almost completely disappeared now with just a soft light streaking across the sky. "So now what?" America had finally gotten bored of wandering in circles. England was staring at the clock he had found, listening to the tick of the clock. "I don't know." Just as he said this, America reached to his head and place the crown he had taken long before on his head. Then something happened. The hour hand on the clock began to move. England gasped, causing America to look over at him. His eyes widened as the hands on the clock sped up. Then the sapphires began to glow

America's crown was glowing and he cried out as he tried to rip it off. It simply refused to budge. England tried to drop the watch, but it too seemed glued to him. The vines from the hedge and surrounded the two men, swirling with a soft blue light. Screaming, the two men squeezed their eyes closed. The clock's hands were spinning out of control and the sapphires on the crown shown brighter and brighter. And then they were gone. Just like that, in a flash of light, America and England disappeared, pulled into the hedge by the dead roses, crown and clock in tow, leaving behind a darkening sky, a disheveled maze, and no one to explain where they had gone.


	3. The Doppelgängers

**Ok so here is the next chapter. Hope you like it please review :) I love reviews and hearing from anyone reading this. **

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"Alfred, would you stand STILL? This is a royal portrait that is being painted for the coronation. You need to look at least presentable!" Alfred rolled his eyes as his straightened for the five hundredth time this morning, smoothing his shirt and royal robe. Preparing to be king better be harder than actually being king, or he was going to fail miserably at it. Not that he wasn't already somewhat afraid of this, though he did have Arthur ruling beside him. This caused him to smile slightly. His beloved Arthur, the next Queen of Spades. He was still having trouble getting used to the idea of not calling him 'Your Highness' ever again, even though he knew he was going to be king since he was twelve. The royal family had always been so above everyone else, how could he ever consider himself at their level?

Looking behind him slightly, he could see Arthur's wispy blonde hair waving slightly in the wind. He was holding a blue rose, taken from the hedge that surrounded them. It was the Royal Rose Maze, designed to teach future rulers of the kingdom problem solving techniques. The hedge changed and shifted with every step you took, so you always had to find the pattern in order to get out. Almost immediately following his being chosen as king, Alfred had been brought to the maze and forced to complete it multiple times. It took him over a month, but he eventually figure out that the changing maze wasn't random; there was always something to follow.

Though a month really wasn't long at all for solving the maze, it paled in comparison to Arthur. Though he was a member of the royal family, he was not allowed into the maze until he was twelve also. He managed to figure out the patterns in a little over a day. It was the fastest anyone had ever solved the puzzle in the history of the Spade's kingdom and shocked the family. The heir to the throne of the queen was brilliant and quiet, everything a queen should be. He had to work with the other kingdoms, and his stubbornness proved to be effective when it came to political arrangements that favored his kingdom.

Alfred sighed as he returned to holding his head up and looking 'regal'. Arthur should have been king, not him. He was kind and gentle and knew exactly what to do. But the Clock of Spades had chosen him as queen, and Alfred as king. It was actually rather lucky when it came down to that second choice. Alfred was the son of a servant in the court. The say he turned twelve, the Clock of Spade's hour hand had moved. The fifteen year old future queen had seen it and hold the current king that an heir had been chosen.

Every boy and girl that had turned twelve that day were brought before the king and Arthur. They were told to hold the clock and if the hour hand moved and the sapphire on the back glowed, then they would be the next king. Arthur was delighted to see that the servant boy that worked in his court was there as well. Even though he constantly called him 'Your Majesty' or whatever, Alfred was the closest thing he had to a real friend. Most of the palace children were stuck up and rude. No, the servant boy had more than once simply talked to him, like a normal human being. And though he had simply acted pleased when the clock chose Alfred, Arthur had inwardly been thrilled.

Now they were standing together, back to back, in the Royal Rose Maze while a portrait was painted of them, one month before their coronation. when the painter was finally done the portrait wasn't half bad, but it reminded Alfred of how close the ceremony was. Arthur turned and sat in one of the white wooden chairs with the Spade paintings on it and pulled out a huge book from the basket beside the table. ALfred groaned and his sat down in the other chair, placing his head on the table. Arthur rolled his eyes. "You know you need to know this stuff. In a month, you will be the King of Spades." "And this is HISTORY! Aren't we more worried about the future?" Alfred whined. Arthur scowled, making Alfred smile slightly. Arthur was even cuter when he was angry.

"We learn from our past mistakes and triumphs how to make a better future. Just try to pay attention, ok?" Alfred groaned, but looked over at Arthur anyway. Arthur knew that book inside-out, upside-down and backwards. He had been studying it since he could read, preparing to lead the kingdom and work with the other ones. Alred had probably read the book once in school but never really paid any attention. Arthur began reading the chapter on the Kingdom of Clubs and Alfred dosed off.

Glancing over at his future king, Arthur sighed. Aaaannnnnnddddd he was asleep. No surprise there. He could never even get through a single chapter without him nodding off. Oh well, at least he could get some peace and quietfor awhile. Arthur flipped through the book, THE KINGDOM OF CARDS, and came to the section on his home. Spades. Each time a new royal was put on the thrown, the book had to be reprinted, meaning this versionwas actually only three or four years old as that was how long the Jack of Hearts had had power. He began reading to himself, though he knew the words by heart...

'The Jack of Spades and the Queen of Spades were one married. The Jack already had three sons, William, Connor and Iain, but none of them would be heir to the throne as they had no royal blood.' William, Connor and Iain were Arthur's half brothers on his mother, the previous Jack of Spade's side. Their father had died before she was Jack, and she had eventually married his father, the last Queen of Spades. He barely ever saw his brothers though. Iain had moved out to the country and fallen in love with a peasant boy (yes boy) and refused to return to the palace. Connor had joined the military and was currently training to become the Ace of Spades, highest military rank in the Spades Kingdom. William was still at the castle but often too infatuated with the servant girls to notice anything actually happening.

'When the Jack and Queen were married, the Jack gave birth to a baby boy, a price. He was the only heir to the throne and was chosen as Queen. Arthur is now training to be the future queen alongside...' Sighing, Arthur thought of his mother. She had died only four years after Arthur was born, but he still remembered her smile. When she died, a young man named Yoa had taken the place of Jack, meaning that he had looked after Arthur for as long as he could remember. This was not usually part of the Jack's job but he had taken a liking to the young prince. The previous Queen, Arthur's father, had died only a year after his mother, leaving no Queen on the throne, as he could not take the position until he was twenty. Unfortunately, the King has also passed when Arthur was eighteen, meaning they would have to wait until the next king was also twenty and they would be crowned together. Arthur looked over at his sleeping king. In one month, Alfred would turn twenty and the two men would be crowned the King and Queen of Spades.

Arthur had been preparing for this all his life, yet he was still terrified. How could he rule an entire kingdom? And Alfred wasn't prepared, that he was sure of. If he could, would he give up the throne to escape the pressure? Maybe. As long as he could remain with Alfred. Arthur smiled as he smoothed back his king's hair. My beloved Alfred. As long as i can be with you, I don't need a kingdom.

Just as he was thinking this, the hedge next to him began to shake. What in the world? Standing, Arthur walked to the trembling bush just as it began to spew blue light. BLOODY HELL! He shook Alfred's shoulder. "Arthur please wake up we need to go!" Alfred's eyes cracked open. "What's the... OH MY GOD!" His eyes widened as he saw the bush shake and a vine pull out of it, depositing to young men in strange clothes on the ground in front of them.

No one moved. The two magical strangers struggled to sit up. "What the bloody hell was THAT?" Alfred's blood froze. But that sounded like... Arthur! But he was standing right next to him. "Aw man, that was fun!" Now the two royals were horribly confused, for this voice sounded exactly like Alfred's. Things got weirder for the future rulers as the magic men finally managed to sit up qnd look around. They didn't see the well dressed pair behind them, only the newly trimmed rose hedge in front of them. "I swear, this thing was crazy overgrown and dead like a second ago. And it was dark out. Now the sun is like right in the middle of the sky. And... Since when are roses blue?" The Alfred twin said this all in a matter of seconds, exactly the way Alfred would speak. The Arthur look-a-like looked at the other man saying, "I think you missed the bigger problem. We were just pulled... Through a hedge... By a magic clock and a magic crown. We have bigger things to deal with than the fact that the roses are blue!" It was so much like Arthur that it was scary.

Turning, America tried to take in everything at once. The hedge was much shorter now, and the giant blue roses seemed too perfect to be real. In the distance over the bush, he could see the towers of a ... A castle? Like one out of a fairytale with blue flags flying from the top. He could just make out the black spades on the fabric. All the spades man. What was up with the spades? And the color blue? England also glanced around the sky. America was right in saying that the sky was light again. It seemed to be about noon again. So the other side of that hedge was a different time zone? That wasn't strange. Even the time between America and England was different. But a hedge seperating time zones? That was new.

Finally the two men from the hedge turned to look behind them and saw the two look-a-like boys dressed in blue. America's mouth dropped open as he saw a man that looked exactly like him, wearing navy blue pants, a light blue shirt and a long dark blue cape thing. He had a white collored shirt on and a blue tie matching his pants. His eyes got even bigger as he saw another version of England wearing black pants and a bright blue vest with a big white bowtie and a sapphire blue top hat. He was also holding a familiar silver clock in his hands, and both the minute and hour hands were ticking.

Silence. Utter silence as America and England looked at the two dopplegangers in front of them. And the dopplegangers looked back. It didn't seem possible that there were two of them. But here they were, exact look alikes. Finally, Arthur drew a sword that was hanging around his waist and pointed it at his twin. Glancing at his future queen, Alfred followed suit and pointed his own sword at America. Both the nations quickly raised their hands. "WohwohwohwohWOAH! Hold on a minute!" America waved his hands in front of him, showing he was unarmed. England also held his arms above his head, but this only made him raise the old silver clock up inthe air.

Arthur saw the watch and the spade sapphire onthe back. His eyes widended and he lowered his sword slightly. He whispered, "Where did you get that?" England looked up at the watch he was holding. "Ummm if i tell you, will you not kill us?" Alfred immediately spotted the crown on America's head. "It better be a good explanation. That's the king's crown and if you stole it-" America dropped his arms and stood, causing both men to raise their swords again. "Of course we didn't steal them. We were lost on the other side of this bush and found them. When I put the crown on and England held the clock we poofed through the hedge and ended up here. So I think we are the ones that deserve an explanation cause we have PLENTY of questions." England stared at the swords still pointed at their throats, willing America to shut up.

Soon Alfred dropped his sword. Arthur looked at him and scowled. Why would he stop? These were obviously theives and needed to be arrested. But Alfred simoly shrugged and sat down. "I really have nothing to say about this. They look exactly like us Arthur. We should hear them out and judge later." This is what would make the Alfred a great king. He was kind and fair and liked to hear every side of the story before judging. And that was what Arthur loved about his future king. Sighing he returned his attention to the newcomers. "Start from the beginning and if your story doesn't check out..."

So America and England went on to explain their adventure, starting wjth their names, from the badger bite to the run through the woods to the crazy ever changing maze. They explained all the items they found. This was the part of the story that began to make sense to Alfred and Arthur. The tea set they had seen was sitting on the table, and the painting was the just finished portrait of the two men, standing back to back, Artnur holding a blue rose and Alfred in his robe. "But they just finished that painting, Arthur. There was no way they could have known that!" Arthur couldn't disagree with that. He glanced at the two men on the ground and asked, "So you are saying you came through from your world and ended up here?" America cocked his head. "That depends I guess. Where is 'here' exactly? And who are you?"

Alfred threw his head back and laughed. "Yep they are definately not from Cards. They don't know who we are!" Even Arthur smiled a bit. He put away his sword and helped England up and into a chair. Alfred pulled America up as well and plopped him in one if the white spaded chairs. Arthur poured some tea and offered it to the boys. England accepted while America turned it down. Arthur smiled oddly. This Alfred look alike was very much like Alfred himself. He was outgoing and honest and didn't like tea. Setting his cup down, Arthur looked at the men who called themselves 'America and England'.

"My name is Arthur Kirkland and I am currently the crown prince of the Kingdom of Spades. I was born into the royal family and chosen to be the Queen if Spades by the Royal Clock." he held up his own version of the watch, "My mother was the previous Jack if Spades. I suppose you don't know what that means." America had raised his hand. Arthur gestured for him to speak. "Queen? But you're a guy." Smiling, Arthur answered, "Queens stopped needing to be female long ago here, soon after the Great War ended." Nodding, America sat back. This was definately not the weirdest thing that had happened today.

"I won't give you the whole backstory but when i was four, my mother died and the next person i. Line for the Jack position was a man names Yao. The Jack was someone that was trained for that position, not like King and Queen. The previous queen was my father, and he died on,y a year after my mother. As the only child of one of the royals, I have been learning how to be Queen for as long as i can remember, though I wasn't positive of my position until I was twelve." Alfred rolled his eyes and slid the history book that Arthur had been reading across the table to the nations. "If you wanna learn all about the poor prince's life before I came along, read about it, but mow let's get to me." He smiled at Arthur sweetly and gestured for him to go on.

Arthur rolled his eyes and looked back at the dopplegangers. "This idiot is Alfred Jones. He grew up as a servant in the palace and was the closet thing to a friend I had growing up. People seem to avoid royalty like the plague, afraid of disrespecting them and what not. But not this idiot." Alfred laughed and took over the story. "My favorite pastime was annoying His Royal Highness over here. At first I was nice, but he always seemed lonely so I took it as my civil duty to help him." Arthur rolled his eyes again as Alfred continued. "Anyway on the day I turned twelve, the hour hand on the Royal Clock moved once. Everyone who had turned twelve that day was brought before the king and asked to hold the clock. And when I held it, the hour hand started moving and continued ticking."

"Well after that, I began working on how to become king. I was twelve and he was fifteen. Three years later, the King of Spades died meaning both Arthur and I would be crowned at the same time; my twentieth birthday. Which is in a month." He said this part rather dejectedly, like he didn't really want that day to come. Arthur smiled at him. "You'll be fine. I'll be there too and I've been training for this a lot longer than you. If we could runaway from this, I would but..." Arthur caught his doppleganger's eye. "Wait. What if..."

Alfred had followed his queen's eye and started to think along the same lines as Arthur. Two emn that looked exactly like them... Showing up right in front of them... Right before the dreaded date. It was too perfect. Smiling, Alfred grabbed America's face, causing the country to jerk backwards. "You! You can take my place and be king!" Looking at England he shouted, "And you can be queen! Arthur amd I can take a vacation!" The men from Earth stared at him. What was he suggesting? "Now hold on. We need to get back to our world somehow. We can't become king and queen!" England was worried now. This was not supposed to be happening. Arthur cut in. "You wouldn't have to become king and queen. Just stay here and pretend to be us for awhile until th coronation. The stress is overwhelming and we could use a break. We would be back a week before hand and would help you get home."

England shook his head. "We don't know anything about your world. Besides, how could you help us get back?" Alfed smiled at this, excited now. "There is a huge library of books on magic in the palace. You would be welcome to search it while you pretended to be us." England looked at America. They had no other ideas of where to start. America looked back at them. "If we do this," he raised a hand at the excitement on the royal's face, "IF, then you would be back before the coronation, right?" Both nodded as England asked his next question. "But how would we convince people we are you?" "All you have to do is wear out clothes and act like yourselves. You seem very much like us so as long as you read this-" Arthur tapped the book history book again, "-then you should be fine. There are other books on how to act royal in the library. Read up and you should be great. If youndon't help, I can't guarentee there is any other way to get you back home. Please. We would forever be in your debt."

America and England sighed as they took in this information. They didn't see any way to return home besides this offer. England looked at the furture kimg and queen and said, "Fine. We will stay and help you. But you must help us when you return and you better be here before your coronation!" Alfred jumped up and hugged the look alikes. "Thank you so much! We promise. We will be back." With that, Alfred and Arthur forced America and England to switch clothes with them and Arthur gave England the Royal Clock.

After giving them a brief overview of what they would find when they got out of the maze, they went to the right and started moving away from the palace through the maze. England, now Prince Arthur, called out after them. "Wait, how do we get out of here?" But the maze had already changed, closing the path that the future leaders of the kingdom had taken. England looked at America and sighed. America started to laugh, making England scowl. "How is any of this funny?" America comtinued to laugh as he pointed at his head. "Your hat is hilarious!" With that, America dropped to the ground and continued to crack up. England rolled his eyes, much like Arthur. Finally, America looked up at him, his beautiful blue eyes gleaming with excitment. "Best. Day. Ever."


	4. A Quick History Lesson

**Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it and I am sorry if it's a little short. I have been working on three other stories with a friend and have been very busy writing these last few days. Those stories will eventually be uploaded to fandomfool3521, so check it out some time. :)**

It took about an hour to find their way out of the maze even though it stopped changing. They were completely new to the area and the guards that were stationed about found it odd that it took the two royals so long to find their way. This was the prince who had beat the first maze in a day! Why was he struggling so much now. They put it down to the fact that Alfred was dragging behind him, looking ridiculously tired and asking stupid questions. "Seriously though, why are the roses blue? And I don't think I can get used to the spades. They are all over the place." The crown prince would just keep walking forward, rolling his eyes at his companion's questions. The guards brushed off their odd behavior, saying it was just the two boys bonding. Everyone knew how much they loved one another and their way of showing it was... A little odd.

Finally they burst through the final stretch of bushes and popped into a stone courtyard with a huge fountain surrounded by flowers (blue of course) and stone pathway that led to a drawbridge. This got more and more like a fairytale with every step. England sighed. They had really gotten themselves into trouble this time. "Your Majesties! Where have you been, aru?" Both men jumped at the sound of China's voice. They turned to see a man identical to the Asian nation dressed entirely in blue with a black spade staff. Of course someone else had to be a part of this. No surprise there.

"Hey Chin-" England stomped on America's foot before he could finish the statement. "What was that for," he hissed. "That isn't China remember? That's what's his name, the Jack." America's eyes widened. Crap he had almost really messed up. "Yao. That's it. HEY YAO!" England cringed, hoping that was something Alfred would do. It seemed to be as the Jack smiled warmly. He didn't suspect anything... Yet. "You took long enough. They portrait was done more than two hours ago. What took so long, aru?" The men froze, trying to come up with some excuse. England caught a glimpse of the history book in America's hands. "We were just, um, studying. You know, with the coronation only a month away and all, we thought we should get in a much work as possible."

America smiled sweetly, playing along with England. Sounded believable enough to him. Apparently is was good enough for Yao too, as he bowed slightly and said, "Very true. Please come with me. You should rest for a few hours. The rest of the royals will be arriving in about three hours for the ball tonight." England and America went horribly pale. Ball? As in dancing and talking and stuff? But... They didn't know how to do that! But that didn't seem to matter to Yao. He led them across the drawbridge and through the large metal gates, into an inner courtyard behind the huge walls. The use of blue continued, making the two imposters groan. Did they even know about any colors besides blue and black?

Yao led them into the large doors, where a huge marble staircase led up. Hanging from the vaulted ceiling was a crystal chandelier and the walls were covered in blue tapestries and sapphire inlets. They walked up the stairs and down a carpeted hall. Mirrors, paintings and candles adorned the walls, and thr hall stretched pretty far. Yao stopped in front of two double doors and stood still. England and America did the same. They stood in silence for a minute, Yao looking at them oddly. "Ummm are you going in, aru?" England and Amerca looked at the door. OH! This was their room. "Oh, um yes. Sorry." They opened the doors and their mouths fell open.

Again with the blue. The carpet was deep blue and the walls were a lighter one. A four poster bed with a blue canopy stood against one of the walls and sapphire blue curtains surrounded a balcony that led outside. Everything was so rich and beautiful. Yao smiled as he shut the door. "Be downstairs in three hours, dressed and ready aru." He left the men alone then, leaving te door unlocked. America smiled and ran across the room, jumping on the bed. "You are such a child. Come on, we dont't have time for messing around. We need to read this book. There is a ball tonight and that man said the other 'royals' are coming. We need to at least figure out who they are." America groaned as he collapsed on the bed. "Fine. Read on, your majesty." He grinned as he said the last part sarcastically.

England sat in a chair and opened the huge book. "Long ago the four kingdoms were one, the Kingdom of Cards. After the war with the Chessmen-" America looked over at him. "Seriously? Chessmen? What is up with this place?" England shushed him with a glance. America waved him on. "After the war, the kingdoms split up into the four kingdoms that exist today; the Spades, the Hearts, the Diamonds, and the Clubs. They each have their ow-" America cut him off again. "Just skip to the part we need for tonight." Scowling, England flipped through the book to the part about the royalty of each of the kingdoms. He started with the Diamonds.

"King Francis rose to power ten years ago. He is well known as a ladies man and is not married. His kingdom is prosperous in the agriculture area and grows most of the four kingdom's food." He raised a busy eyebrow and looked at America. "Ladies man? Sound like someone we know?" America shuddered. "God I it's not him." Returning to the book, England read on. "The Jack and Queen of Diamonds, Vash and Lili, were brother and sister. Though usually the king took over military work, Francis gave this job to Vash, as he was very impressive with military work. Lil had little power as she was very quiet and shy, but she was now in charge of money, and the job of political relationships moved to Francis."

America yawned and placed his head on the head board. "So we got a friendly king, a shy queen, and a military maniac jack. I think I can remember that." England nodded and read on. "Their kingdom is known for their extensive use of yellow and friendly attitude." England flipped through the book to the next chapter, this one on the Kingdom of Hearts.

"The King of Hearts in a man named Ludwig." America started giggling. England looked at him oddly. Still giggling, America said, "Ludwig. That's a funny name." England rolled his eyes at his childish companion. "Anyway- he is the one in charge of military in that kingdom. His brother, Gilbert, is one of the Jokers, and is the one who made the contract with them to help in the Great War. The queen is a man named Kiku, and he is very quiet and relaxed." England smiled slightly. Finally, someone calm in this crazy world. "He is in charge of politics within his kingdom and the finances. Finally, the jack is a happy-go-lucky boy who is under the protection of the king. He is a kind boy, but not very professional so most of his job is to work with the people of his kingdom. His name in Feliciano and as far as we know, he and the king may or may not be romantically involved. Ludwig is a very secret man and likes to stay behind closed doors." America raised his eyebrows. "Seems suspicious to me..." England shuddered slightly. "They use a lot of red in the Kingdom of Hearts and they produce most of the kingdom's industry... blah blah blah."

England turned to the next part of the book. "The King of Clubs is named Ivan. He is very quiet, but when he needs to be he can get very dangerous and terrifying. He is in charge of the Club's military and keeps the police in order. The queen is a woman by the name of Elizabeta. She is closely involved in the military as well, but also controls the foreign policies. The jack is Roderich. He works with the money and works with the people of his kingdom. He and the queen were supposedly romantically involved at one time, but not anymore, though they are still very close. They are well known for the use of greens in their kingdom and control most of the transportation through the four kingdoms."

England looked at America and sighed. "This place just gets weirder and weirder doesn't it?" He rolled his eyes as he noticed his friend fast asleep. He was so cute when he was unconscious. Quiet and relaxed. He picked up a pillow and threw it at the American's head, startling him awake. "Hey... what was that for?" "Pay attention you idiot. We have to pull this off at least for tonight. If we are discovered, then we will not be able to get into the library and find a way out of this mess." He glanced at the now perfectly working clock that hung from his waist. "Speaking of which, we need to get ready for that now or we will be late."

He walked to the wardrobe and started pulling out clothes. They were all so stupid. But he had no choice and threw a pair of trousers and a white shirt at America. "I don't know how to dress like royalty, England, and I don't know how to act like it either. Do you really think we can pull this off?" England shrugged as he pulled on the new clothes while standing behind the wardrobe door. "We don't have a choice, now do we?" America moved to change as well, and England turned as he removed his shirt. The toned muscles of the younger nation made him blush. Why did he like this man so much?

America put on the new clothes. They were still dark blue, and everything seemed to be embroidered with sapphires. He straightened the cloak around his shoulders and smiled in the mirror. He then walked to the table with the book and opened it to the page with the Kingdom of Spades. He didn't read out loud, but he perused the pages. "Alfred was chosen to be king on his twelfth birthday by the Clock. He and Arthur had been friends for a long time, so it seemed like a logical choice. Not long after, it came to the kingdom's attention that the two men also seemed to be romantically involved. They will be coronate-" America did a double take and re-read that last sentence. "It came to the kingdom's attention that the two men also seemed to be romantically..."

America slammed the book, causing England to glance over. "What's wrong?" America didn't respond at first. His face was bright cherry red and he couldn't face England then. Romantically involved? They would have to pretend they were in love? This was getting out of hand. He glanced over at his friend, who wasn't yet dressed. He still had no shirt on and America could see his pale, molded chest. Wow, ok. Maybe pretending wouldn't be that hard... He shook himself. Stop thinking that. He's ENGLAND. You can't... you shouldn't... "Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Come on and hurry up, I want to meet the rest of the crazy leaders of this upside down world." America pulled a smile and England smiled back, though he was confused by the boy's behavior. Not that he ever understood America anyway.

They sat together in silence for awhile, until Yao came up and told them it was time to go to the ball. They had heard commotion going on downstairs for a while now. "If you would come with me, your Majesties. The royals and the other guests have arrived downstairs. They are waiting on your arrival." The two imposters straightened and smiled. America was afraid of what would happen when they didn't look in love. So he grabbed England's hand, causing the older nation to blush and send his eyebrows up. "Wh..what are you doing?" America smiled in what he hoped looked like reassurance. "Oh you know. Just holding on to my queen." Yao looked at the two men as he led them down the hall. They were so sweet together. They would make the perfect king and queen. The unified nature of the two would help this kingdom pull back together. The wedding was only in a month, the day before the coronation. It was a date fast approaching and tonight was the night they were going to announce the wedding to the other royals. He smiled and opened the double doors to the dining hall, letting the future King and Queen of Spades enter their engagement ball.


	5. A Surprise (Engagement) Party

**Hey guys sorry it's been awhile. I was having major writer's block and me and a friend are working on three other stories at the same time AND I have summer school so I have been BUSY. But it's ok cause I finished another chapter here for you. Please review and don't worry there will be more moments like this chapter... you'll see what I mean. Don't freak out at the end of the chapter. **

**Just so you know I am currently working on three other stories in collaboration with doctorpotterhetaliafan35 and we will be posting said stories on fandomfool3521 at some point, when we have enough chapters done. Please check in with that user some time and see if it's up. Thanks for reading and you guys are AWESOME :)**

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The dining hall was covered in blue. The carpet, the tablecloths, the curtains, the decorations. Everything from the Spades Kingdom was blue. The tableware was silver; silver plates, cups, and utensils. Everything had spades engraved on it too, but the two imitations didn't really see any of that. They saw the other three colors that swamped the room. Reds, yellows, and greens wandered about, making the room look like a spinner from a board game. The people were calling, and laughing, and dancing, and singing. From the stairs where they were standing, America and England could tell who the guests were and who the royalty was.

America and England were immediately separated by the crowd, pulled apart by the hundreds of milling people. "Hello, Your Majesty. It is a pleasure." "Good day, your Royal Highness, it is my honor to be here tonight." People shook their hands, hugged them, kissed their cheeks, and bowed. The two men just smiled, trying to stay out of conversations that involved knowing people's names. This worked fairly well for a few minutes, until they finally managed to squeeze through the wall of people back to one another, only to come face to face with a familiar face.

He had the same gorgeous blonde hair as the one they knew back home. His huge blue eyes had a lusty look to them and he had a crooked smile on his face, like he knew something you didn't. Dressed entirely in yellow, he stood tall and regal, a gold crown resting in his locks, and everything covered in yellow diamonds. America and England held on to the slight hope that this man wouldn't be exactly like the man they knew, but all was lost the moment he spoke. "Ah, vos Altesses! My sincerest congratulations, though I do feel a bit cheated out of Monsieur Arthur, eh Alfred?" America tensed as he realized the congratulations was for the wedding, something England was still oblivious to. "Oh, hello there Frrrancis... Yeah Francis. Are you enjoying yourself?" America rushed these statements, hoping England wouldn't wonder about the congratulations was for.

King Francis of Diamonds laughed at sipped a glass of wine. "Bien sûr, mon ami. You do know how to throw a party!" Another person in yellow drifted over to them and placed a hand on Francis's shoulder. He turned and smiled, bringing the shy girl in front of him. "Well bonjour, Lili. Have you said hello to the future king and queen?" A Lichtenstein lookalike stepped up to them, looking down and blushing. "Hello Arthur, Alfred." She too wore yellow, with a long skirt that fell to the floor and puffed out around her ankles. Her short blonde hair was held back from her face with a golden tiara. The two men smiled kindly at her shyness. "Queen Lili." England bowed slightly, and America quickly followed suite.

Another young man joined the king and queen then, and Lili shifted to him and hung onto his arm. "Your Majestys." England quickly ran through the names he had read in his head, but America was the one who spoke. "Good evening, Vash. How is the party for you?" England looked at America in shock, and the younger man simply winked back and smiled. "Very pleasant, thank you. Do excuse my sister; she is so shy." Switzerland's twin seemed to have no emotion. His hair was also blonde, but he wore no crown. His yellow clothes were obviously royal, but seemed more practical than Francis's long robes and old-timey outfit. "It is no problem, we understand perfectly." England grabbed America's sleeve and pulled him away. "Well, we must be on our way. Lot's of people to talk to. Thank you so much for coming. Goodbye!" Pulling the younger nation in the opposite direction of the Diamonds group. They didn't get very far before running into another friend of theirs.

"Guten Tag. How are you this fine evening?" England and America gaped at "Germany". He wore bright red robes and a bronze brown, with heart shaped rubies all over the place. He looked so... regal. Like his blonde hair and buff body was made for being a king. Next to him stood Japan, who smiled slightly at the two men. "Kon'nichiwa. This is a lovely party. Thank you for inviting us." "Ludwig and Kiku. King and Queen of Hearts. Welcome." England grimaced as he threw out the names, hoping they were the right ones. The two red-dressed men simply smiled on, encouraging England he had gotten the names right.

A boy looking identical to Italy bounced over and grabbed Ludwig's sleeve. "Ve, Ludwig. Do they have pasta?" Ludwig cringed. "I don't know, Feliciano." The Italian frowned. "What party doesn't have pasta?" England and America bit back laughter. That was definitely Italy for you. Ludwig blushed the same color as his clothes and pushed the Jack of Heart behind him. "Ehhhh, I'm sorry about him..." "No problem." England smiled and pulled America away again. "Do enjoy the party." Kiku gave them a apologetic smile. "We will, thank you. And congratulations." America winced again, as he noticed that England had heard it this time. "Congratulations...?" Kiku's face fell as he looked at America. "Alfred-san... is it a surprise...?" America groaned, unsure of how to cover this up. "Yeah, sure..." Kiku blushed exactly as his king had. "But how? It was in the book... It must have been difficult to keep hidden! My sincerest apologies then. I will leave you..." Kiku bowed and weaved through the crowd. England looked at America. "Why do people keep congratulating us?"

America was saved from answering by the Club royals. "Alfred. Arthur. Privet!" Both jumped at the Russian accent. "King, um... Ivan! How are you?" America basically shouted to the man as to get England's attention away from the congratulations. The King of Club smiled through his violet eyes. Dressed in green with glistening emeralds sewn about in the shapes of clubs, the was ever so imposing. Even more than Russia. A lovely bouncy version of Hungary jumped to speak to them. "Szia, you two! I think this is a great party dears. And an even better reason for it!" She giggled as her platinum crown with emeralds slid down her brown hair and over her eyes. She pushed it back on top of her head and fluffed out the cape she wore over a pair of bloomers and tunic. Typical Hungary. A man looking like Austria slid an arm around the Hungary twin and pulled her close. "Don't listen to Elizabeta. She gets carried away sometimes... Roderich, Jack of Clubs at your service. Thank you for inviting us tonight." Grinning weakly, America shook his outstretched hand. "Yes, yes. Thanks for coming." This time, America dragged England away and headed towards the door they had entered through, trying to avoid any more implications towards the king and queen's marriage. Unfortunately, the moment England caught his breath, he started asking questions.

"You know something and you aren't telling me. Why does everyone keep congratulating us? And what is this special 'reason' for this ball? America, answer me." America opened his mouth to lie, but was grabbed by Yao. "Alfred, Arthur, come along aru. We must announce it now!" England glanced at America, confused. America started to panic, unsure of what he would do when the Jack announced, in front of everyone, that they were... engaged. Yao shoved England up the stairs to the balcony and dropped something in America's hand. "Don't say anything, just put this one his hand, aru." With that, The Jack of Spades forced America next to England, ignoring his protests. America glanced at the object he had been given. Of course; it was a ring. A big sapphire sat in place of the traditional diamond and it sparkled in the light of the hall. It was beautiful.

As America stood tensely next to him,England leaned over and whispered, "Do you have any idea what is going on here?" America gulped and said, "Well. I may have read it in that history book of ours... ummm..." England narrowed his eyes. "America. What is it?" America opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the China lookalike. "Lords, ladies, Jacks, Kings, and Queens. My name is Yao and I am the Jack of Spades. It has been a long time since we have had both a king and queen on the throne here in Spades, aru. But here before you stand both Alfred and Arthur, the future king and queen. Tonight we announce also, something more aru." America groaned and closed his eyes. England kept looking around, completely lost. "The day before the coronation, Alfred and Arthur shall be married."

England froze. His eyes widened as he turned to look at America. Everyone in the room started cheering, but England continued to stare at America. His friend had just stood, wincing at the words, but he didn't seem particularly surprised. "You... you knew about this?" England hissed at him through his fake grin. America slowly nodded and smiled wide. Whether it was real or fake, England couldn't tell. The younger nation grabbed England's hand and slid a huge sapphire ring onto his finger. "Yes. It said so in that damn history book." The American never stopped smiling. "So, England. Would you do me the great honor of marrying me?"

England pulled a sweet smile and managed a curt nod, getting more cheers as the congregation figured out what had just transpired. "You are such an ARSE. Why the bloody hell didn't you tell me this earlier?" America wrapped his arm around England's waist, causing the older nation to blush. America then smiled down at the people and waved, continuing the conversation. "Cause I knew you'd freak out. And we promised to keep this up until they returned, or we will never get home. Now come on. Pretend you're unbelievably excited about this."

England fumed for a moment, then wrapped his arms around America, causing the man to gasp. "Better make this look damn real. And there better be a bloody way back to our world in that library." England joined in with the waving, and at first he was too wrapped up in the idea that he was pretending that it looked forced. But eventually he realized who his arms were wrapped around, who he was 'pretending' to be in love with. As horribly awkward as the whole situation was, it did give the Brit an excuse to get close to the young man. His smiles turned relaxed and he rested his head against the American's shoulder. Maybe he could pull this off...

America was wounded by England's reaction. That was why he had taken so easily to the role of perfect king substitute. At least this was England he was pretending to marry, not like France... yeah it could be worse. Deep down, America knew he wasn't really upset by the turn of events, simply embarrassed. He was worried about England's reaction, how he would feel about the situation. And how were they supposed to act? Madly in love? Would England go along with it? America would. He would in a heartbeat. But he didn't want to seem too into it, as to scare England... Wait, why was he thinking this? He was simply pretending for the sake of getting home.

He had gasped when England had wrapped his arms around him. What was he doing? America's face had flushed red as he continued to smile and wave, one arm still around the smaller man's waist. England seemed so relaxed. None of his actions seemed forced, not like America's. Sonn though, America rememebred everything he had thought about England in the past. How handsome he was, how sweet and stubborn he could be. And even though they were simply pretending for the people, America couldn't help but imagine that England was enjoying it. America smiled as England placed his head on his shoulder. His dear England...

The moment was ruined at Yao waked up behind them and whispered, "Now give the people a kiss."

Both men's smiles froze on their faces. They whirled to look at Yao. England fumbled out, "Whhh...whhhaa... WHAT?" Yao looked surprised. "Come along, aru. The ladies will adore it." England gritted his teeth and glared at the Chinese man. There was no way in hell that he was crossing that line because of some STUPID plan they were pulling. Not that he was denying or confirming that he wanted a kiss. But certainly not here, in front of all these strangers.. and America would certainly disagree.

So this is why England gasped out loud as America pulled him by the waist again and gave him an apologetic, crooked smile. "Hehe. For the disguise, yeah?" England just stared into America's azure eyes, unable to look away. His crown had slid down and play crooked on his mess of sandy hair. Everything about the man was absolutely perfect. The eyes, the hair, the lips...

America didn't know what had came over him. The idea of kissing England was too perfect. What a great opportunity too! They could blame the disguise if England didn't like it, but if he did... then everything could change between them. Yet now that he stared down into England's eyes, he was terrified again. Terrified of rejection, of ruining the rocky relationship he already had. Wasn't their friendship enough? No. It wasn't America realized this as he brought his lips down to England's, kissing him in front of the entire crowd.

People clapped on as the two men kissed, but neither heard them. They were so wrapped up in one another that they wouldn't have noticed an earthquake. Both had shut their eyes, and America pulled England closer. It was a horribly awkward kiss, as neither had really expected it. It was sloppy and brief and off. And it was perfect. Finally, England broke the kiss and stared up at America. Neither man said it as they broke apart, but it really had been perfect. They now stood staring at one another, trying simultaneously to figure out what the other was thinking, how they felt. And for a moment, the entire world was just the two fake royals. But then that moment ended.

Yao grabbed them and shoved them down the stairs. "Perfect, aru. Now for the banquet." THey were rushed through the room, one on either side of the Jack, and were finally placed in two matching thrones at the head of a huge table. On America's right was England, and to his left was a throne for Yao. On England's side there were three thrones for the Diamonds and the Hearts, while the Clubs sat on the other. People slowly took seats along the table and dinner was hastily brought out. The other royals may have tried talking to them as well. But England and America barely noticed. Both stared at the strange foreign food on their plates, unsure of what had just happened. Neither had been able to figure the other's reaction out and now a million possibilities were running through their heads.

Had the other liked it? Hated it? Hated him? Would things become horribly awkward? Or would their friendship stop all together? All of the work they had made to get their friendship to the place they were now.. possibly ruined by two idiotic royals that happened to be in love and run away. They kept glancing at one another and immediately turning away, seemingly refusing to catch the other's eye. The rest of the night was silent for them, nodding and smiling in their conversations, but never really answering. They could focus on nothing besides the awkward, horrible, forced, perfect kiss they had shared. And if the other felt the same.

The other royals put it down to nerves. People had been watching them and only them for the first of many times. It wasn't surprising that they were in shock. Kiku added to the explanation when he told them that Arthur supposedly hadn't known. It was a complete surprise to the future queen, giving him even more of a reason to act odd. They had every right to be nervous and shy. They had a month to get over it. SO after trying for the hundredth time to get them to talk, even Francis gave up and let them eat in silence. When the meal was over, the other guests left while the royalty were shown to their rooms. After bidding quiet goodnights to them all, Yao led the two Spade imposters back to their room.

"You did excellent tonight, aru. Everyone loved you both. Now get some rest, we have much to do in the next month to prepare for both a wedding and a coronation aru." He closed the door, leaving the nations alone in the room, England sitting on the bed and America standing awkwardly by the door. They didn't look at one another for a long moment, the silence cutting like a knife. When they finally made eye contact, it didn't get any better. What could possibly happen between them now? Every unanswered question returned, with the strongest in both minds being, "What if I ruined everything?"


	6. Pillow Fights and Daily Schedules

**Hey yall. Next chapter of Cardverse! Please review and I am sorry if I take like way too much time to upload cause I am literally juggling like six stories right now; this one, another published one on this account, another I plan to publish on this account and three others on a joint account with my friend. Please check out my other stories, I love reviews. Sorry if I seem a little wigged out; ALL DA WRITING. And if said writing is shorter or a bit rushed IM SO SORRY. I just got a lot of stuff going on. EHHHHH crappy chapter is crappy. :)**

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America stared at the floor as England looked up at the ceiling. They refused to look at one another for fear of making things worse. But America hated silence. He was always one for breaking the ice with conversation. So he said, "Well, that was... unexpected." England looked over at him and raised a bushy eyebrow. America winced. That probably could have come out better...

England began to laugh. He put his head down on the pillows of the bed and started laughing his heart out. He couldn't believe what had just happened. It was so... wrong. Yet it had also been so right. He assumed laughing would break the atmosphere of discomfort, so they could simply move on and speak as like the whole thing had been a joke. Of course, if there had been a way he could know for certain how America felt, if he had kissed him for the audience or for him, then things could have been different. But there was no way to know. So he laughed.

At first, America looked at him like he was crazy. How could he be laughing at this? It was a disaster. And yet, he couldn't help but want to laugh as well. It felt so good to get the awkward feeling in the room out of the way. So America sank into the chair and began to laugh as well. They sat together in their room and laughed for a while, each time breaking through the barrier they had put up a bit more. Finally, they ran out of any energy they had left after the party and fell into a friendly silence. England closed his eyes and chuckled. "Certainly not what I expected to happen today when we were wandering through the woods." He grimaced and rubbed the badger bite on his arm. "Damn badger..." America bit back a laugh and pulled himself onto the bed next to England.

England turned over so America couldn't see his blush. "What in heavens name are we going to do? We are stranded in this world, pretending to be the future rulers. How did we get ourselves into this?" America rolled onto his stomach and supported himself with his elbows. He looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "I think we were magically pulled through a rose bush." England looked at him to see if he was joking. Unfortunately he was not. England reached behind his head and grabbed a pillow, promptly hitting America in the head. "Hey! What was that for?" England rolled his eyes. "For being an absolute git." America scowled and grabbed another pillow. "Don't you d-" England got a face full of pillow, cutting off his threat.

It was all over now. England growled and reached for the pillow he had used a moment ago and slammed it down on America, who retaliated much the same. They scurried off the bed and began throwing the pillows across the room, hitting ornaments and pictures and other things. They laughed the whole time, enjoying the release feeling they received from a fun fight. After about teen minutes both men were exhausted and collapsed on the bed, breathing heavily. The room was in shambles, destroyed by poorly aimed pillows.

After they got their breathing under control, the England chuckled. America glanced at him. "What's so funny?" England smiled and said, "We're supposed to be the next king and queen of this stupid place, and yet here we are, acting like children and having a pillow fight." America though for a bit, then responded. "So? Who says the rulers of a kingdom can't have pillow fights?" England rolled his eyes, but continued to smile. He glanced at the watch he now possessed and gasped.

"America, it's past midnight! We should get to sleep." America pouted but couldn't stifle a yawn. "Fine, but I don't have to like it." He flipped over onto his stomach and pulled a pillow under his head. England shook his head and grabbed a pillow and a blanket and got onto the floor. He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to wear to sleep and didn't want to really find out. England closed his eyes and tried to get comfortable on the floor, only to hear America stir on the bed above him. "England. What are you doing?"  
England's eyes opened and he looked up to see the confused sapphire eyes of his friend. "I'm sleeping America. Try it sometime." He closed his eyes, praying America would stay silent. Unfortunately the silence didn't last long. "...On the floor?" England scowled and opened hiw eyes again. "No. I'm floating in midair." Thankfully, America heard the sarcasm this time. "Ok, no need to get snappy." He lay down in a hiff, leaving England feeling smug. Silence fell again, if only for a minute. "England?" England groaned. "What?" "Why are you sleeping on the floor?"

England sat up and met the American's eyes. "Where else am I supposed to sleep?" Now America felt the need to be sarcastic. "Oh, I don't know. On the bed maybe?" England smirked, excited by the fact he had used sarcasm. It would make his point drive home even harder. "And where, do tell, would you sleep?" America rolled his eyes and said, "Well on the... oh." His smirk changed to a grimace as he realized the problem. England nodded, satisfied he had won the argument. He lay back down on the floor and turned to face the fireplace. "Now sleep America."

America stared at the ceiling. He felt bad leaving England on the floor, but didn't want to make the already awkward night even worse. So he came up with a plan. "England?" "OH FOR GOD"S SAKE!" England snapped up and scowled at his friend. America pouted and said, "I was just going to say if that Yao character walks in tomorrow and finds you on the floor, we won't be able to explain it." Now England was confused. "What do you mean?" America went on, glad for the darkness that hid his blush. "Well, they all think we're engaged right? So.. why would you be on the floor."

England blushed as he thought about the question. The younger nation was right. It would be impossible to explain, especially considering the two real royals must sleep togethr considering there was only on bed in the room. America took his silence as an invitation to continue. "Hey, we promised to convince this world we are the heirs to the throne. Besides, the bed is more comfortable than the floor." He smiled slightly, making England's heart flutter. He responded slowly, "To convince them, right?" America nodded quickly. "Of course." Sighing England pulled himself onto the bed and crawled under the sheets.

They stared awkwardly at one another for a moment, green eyes meeting blue ones. Neither said a word as they tried to read one another's thoughts thru their actions, just like after their kiss. Finally England coughed and turned onto his other side, blushing like crazy. "Um, we should, ah, get to sleep." America sighed very quietly. "Yeah. Gnite England." England thought back over the day. How they had started out at England's house for a normal day, wandered thru the woods, got attacked by an evil badger, ended u in a rose maze, fell thru said maze, popped out in crazy land, became the king and queen's imposters, and how they had to pretend to be in love. Well. England didn't need to pretend, He sighed and gave a little smile. "Goodnight America."

America didn't open his eyes at first, even though he could feel the sun warming his back He simply sighed and nuzzled his head deeper into the pillow he was hugging, breathing in. Wow, the pillow smelled really good. And... familiar. Like earl grey tea and the sea. And why did the pillow seem o be moving... America's eyes flung open as he looked down to see his ams wrapped around England, who was mumbling in his sleep about rose bushes and badgers. It took all of America's reserve not to freak out. He could have sworn England had been on the other side of the bed last night. How had they ended up like this?

Very slowly and carefully, America slid his arms out from underneathe the older nation, making him mumble again, this time about watches and spades. America laughed softly as he sat up and stretched, looking down on the sleeping British man. So peaceful, so quiet. No bitching smirk or angry glare. He could almost be happy. America rubbed his head, trying to get rid of a resent splitting head ache. Why did he have to see England like that? Why had he thought it would be a good idea to kiss him? True they hadn't gotten any worse in their relationship, but it certainly hadn't gotten better either.

His thoughts were cut off by a knock at the door. "Alfred, Arthur. Are you up, aru?" America racked his brain to remember the man's name. "Uhhh, yeah... Yao." The China lookalike entered, holding a tray of tea, coffee, scones, and bacon. Wow, they even ate the same way! That was just wack. "Goodmorning your majesties." He looked at the sleeping Brit. "Er, majesty." America chuckled and threw a pillow at England's mass of blonde hair. "OOF!" The man sat up, looking horribly dazed, until he caught sight of America's smirk. "You really want to go there again?"

England then saw Yao, who was staring around the room. "My apologies aru, but why is everything in here broken?" America giggled as England rolled his eyes. "Pillows, Mr. Yao. This idiot thinks he can beat me at a pillow fight." America laughed. "i did beat you." Yao simply smiled on. The two would make a wonderful couple, but needed to work on the whole 'King and Queen' thing. Engand looked cautiously at Yao, hoping he could pull off sounding like his royal twin. "Um, would you mind terribly if we went to the library for a while?"

Yao looked confused and both men winced. Looks like the real royals didn't spend much time in the library. "Well of course. After you finish your daily lessons and training." America slammed his head against the bed post while England sighed. Of course they were actually going to have to DO something. "Now get ready. The schedule for today is simple." Great. There was a written schedule.

"Alfred, you will be joining the Ace in combat training on the field directly after breakfast. You will then proceed to the drawing roomm to work on map skills, then to lunch with Arthur, then back to combat training. Directly before supper, you will join me for fine arts, though I'm sure you'll sleep thru it as usual. Finally is supper back in the palace with the still visiting royals." America groaned in response. That was a lot of work in one day. Yao now turned to England. "Arthur, today you have a meeting with the other queens about the policies of trade routes." England's eyes grew huge. He had no idea what the 'policies of trade routes,' were. Yao noticed the look and laughed. "Don't worry aru, there will be a whole portfolio on it." England relaxed. Portfolios. That he could do.

"Then you will have music lessons in the music room, and then lunch with Alfred. Ater lunch comes a review of the kingdom's finances with me, then another meeting, but this one with the staff of the palace consisting of what the wedding plans will be." England and America both looked at each other. But ths wasn't going to be their wedding, they couldn't plan someone elses! Not that they had much choice. America shrugged, motioning for him to go with it. "Then supper with-" "Fine, fine, but when can we go to the library?"

Yao looked at them oddly, then shrugged. "I suppose you could have lunch there, aru." America smiled wide. "Great! Add that to your little schedule thingy." Yao rolled his eyes, used to the young king's behavior. "Now get ready aru. I will wait for you outside." He walked out of the room and the imposters were left to figure out what to wear.

"Hey England. What does one wear in 'combat training'?" England looked over from the wardrobe to see America staring into a chest. "You've been in combat. What do you wear?" America frowned. "Not anything in here." He pulled out fluffy shirts and formal pants, throwing them across the room. England simply shook hi head and returned to looking for his own clothes. All that was in here were everyday working stuff... "America, I think what you need is in here." America grinned and pulled out something that resembled a military uniform, completely navy blue and white. It had a whie undershirt, baggy navy pants and a putton up military style shirt. "Thanks England!" He rushed to get changed as England sighed and sifted thru the fancy clothes on the floor.

He finally decided on something nice but understated. He would have to look presentable for the other queens, but it was his castle so nothing to fancy. England shook himself. No, this is Arthur and Alfred's home, not yours. But they didn't know that. All he wanted was to go home and forget this whole adveture ever happened. Or did he? He was getting to spend a lot of time with America...

He pulled on a pair of blue trousers and button up white shirt. He added a navy blue tie to look official and looked in the mirror. Something was missing... America quietly came u behind him and placed a thin silver crown with tiny sapphire spades on England's head. "I found it on the shelf in the bathroom. I assume it's yours- eh, Arthur's." America was very quiet, comletely different from usual. England tried to hide how furiously he was blushing. "Oh. uh, thanks." They stood in silence for a time until they shook themselves from the trance they seemed to be in. "Well, we should go. Got a busy day until lunch. I hope we can find a way home." England grabbed his clock and attached it to his waist, keeping his eyes down and hurrying out the door. America bit he lip and followed, wondering if he agreed, or if he wished they didn't find a way. If he wished to stay in a place where he had to be close to England. If he really wanted to go back.


	7. Magic Books and Pie

**Omg it's been too long. But I finally finished this chapter and though I planned to make this and the next chapter one really long one, I decided I hadn't updated in too long. So. Yeah. Thanks for reading and please review!**

America and England were immediately split up to go about their various activities. The day went something like this-

America was led down the marble stairs, outside into the sun and onto a large field with a single figure standing on it. As they got closer, America recognized another familiar face. "Good morning your Highness, are you ready for your training today?" America stared at the blonde, violet eyed boy in front of him. "Canada!" The boy raised an eyebrow while America stammered. "Uh, I mean. Gah, what I meant to say was-" Canada's lookalike laughed. "No problem, Your Majesty. Are you ready to start your training?" He asked again. America bit his lip. How to ask his name without letting on he's not the real king...

The problem was solved as the Jack came in and said, "Matthew, just fencing today. He's still tired from last night." Matthew, as he was called, smiled as he looked back at America and handed him a sword. "Congratulations by the way. You and Arthur will make a wonderful couple." America blushed horribly. Here was someone exactly like Canada, telling him he and England were cute together. "Oh, well. Thank you." He took the sword and stood across from Matthew.

"Alright Your Majesty. I don't plan to go easy on you." Matthew smirked slightly, making America surprised. What right did this man have that he talked so freely to the future king. At the same time, he was pleased. Someone who actually didn't judge him for being the 'king'. Nice change of pace. He nodded to the Ace and grinned. "I wouldn't dream of it." Matthew swung his sword, America barely swerving out of the way in time. "On guard, your Highness." America scowled as he straightened. "You're supposed to say that before you attack." Matthew smiled sweetly and lunged again.

For about an hour the two men went back and forth. America was ashamed to say he lost most of the rounds considering he had always thought himself a good swordsman. Then again, it was the Ace's job, he was explained, to protect the king and queen with his life; the ultimate body guard. It probably was a good thing he was so good with a sword. Yet it was very odd to see Canada, someone who was usually quiet and reserved, beating his ass at swordplay.

Finally the time came for map skills, and America couldn't have been happier. Little cuts and bruises littered his arms and legs, and he was sweating buckets. It didn't help that the sun was beating down on them. He glanced at Matthew to see he had barely broken a sweat. Showoff. "Well done your Majesty. You are certainly improving." Holy crap, if that was improvement, then the king must have been really bad. "Uh, thanks. I guess..." Matthew laughed. "See you after lunch for hand-to-hand." Oh god, there's more?

The drawing room was on the other side of the palace and America was able to get a glance of England. He was sitting at a piano with a Poland lookalike and playing what sounded like Mozart, but probably wasn't considering they didn't have Mozart here... And it was beautiful. England had always prefered other instruments, but the way he played that song was perfect. He sat by a large window and the sun hit his pale skin just right. It took all of America's endurance not to run in and hug him right then and there. If Yao hadn't been dragging him along...

Maps had never been America's strong suit. It probably didn't help that he had never before seen a map of this world, The Kingdom of Cards. The land was supposedly split into four equal parts in a circle. There was more land to the far East, but it was all empty and barren, considered unlivable. To the North was the Clubs, Hearts to the East, and Diamonds to the South. Yao went over the way to get from each of the kingdoms, how they make money, what they do for the other kingdoms. But America fell asleep halfway thru, following with what Yao had predicted.

"Alfred, aru. Let's go to lunch." America groaned and pulled himself up from the table, eyes heavy after a nice nap. Then he remembered that he was going to have lunch with England. As a side note, they would be looking for a way to get home, but the main reason he was suddenly alive, awake, alert, and enthusiastic was the prospect of seeing England again. After last night, he felt they had gotten... closer. Even though the kiss had been one of the most awkward oments of his entire life, it had helped. The prospect of even getting to see the old man made America's heart flutter. He smiled and bounded out of the room, pulling Yao with him.

At first he had seemed surprised by "Alfred's" sudden energy, but then he remembered he had promised the king he could have lunch with his queen in the library. He wasn't entirely sure why they wanted to meet in the library, but who was he to judge? Most Jack's wouldn't have been this attentive to their King and Queen. They were all ranked the same anyway, it wasn't his job to basically take care of them. But Yao had loved Arthur for a long time, loved watching him grow up and caring for him. And he felt the same about Alfred. They were like his children and he actually enjoyed controlling most of what went on at the palace. At least then nothing would go horribly wrong.

America wandered around in excitement, making about thirty wrong turns. Yao put it down to nerves, but it was still a bit surprising that the man couldn't find his way to the library. Then again, he hadn't really always spent that much time there anyway. When they finally arrived, America broke in to a huge grin as he saw England sipping tea and reading the history book from earlier in a huge leather chair. America took a brief moment to look around the library and though he didn't often spend a lot of time in such places, it was still amazing. Giant bookcases reached to the ceiling, containing books shoved in to make them fit. There seemed to be hundreds of rows of cases, and in an open place, a couple chairs, a table, and lamp was placed. The walls were a dark navy blue, and the room had no windows to the outside, so it was very dark and cold. Someone had turned on a fireplace though, so even as it was the middle of the day, it felt like it was late at night and this was the most comfortable place in the world.

England looked up from the book and gave America a tired but warm smile. America bounced over to him and pulled his legs under him in the chair across from England. "Hey dude! How was your day so far?" England sighed as he closed the book and said, "Long. Very long. I think I learned more today than in my entire life." Yao walked over and said, "The food will be here soon, aru." England smiled very kindly and started speaking. "Thank you Yao. If you don't mind, please tell the guards that the rose garden needs to be covered tonight; it's going to snow tomorrow. And as many of the fireplaces as needed should be lit as well, to warm the place up." Yao smiled widely and nodded. "Of course your Majesty." He excused himself still smiling. America stared at England from across the table. England looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"England, it's hotter than hell outside. There's no way it's going to snow tomorrow." England smiled smugly and turned the book to face America. " 'The Kingdom of Spades has a unique environment. The weather patterns are constant and never changing, always going in units of seven no matter what month it is. Seven days of rain, seven of sun, seven of snow, and seven of clouds. Then it starts over again.'" England looked up to see America's mouth wide open. England laughed. "They have got it down to a science, even if it makes no sense. According to the calendar in the study, tomorrow is the first day of snow for seven days." America rolled his eyes. "Wonderful, we get the crappy weather." England raised a bushy eyebrow. "Would you rather it be hot out?" America bit his lip in thought. "Damn, that's a tough question..." He looked up, supposedly forgetting the weather system for now. "So what did you do all day?"

England groaned and launched into his explanation. The meeting with the other queens had started off well enough, until Elizabeta, from Clubs, had decided she wanted a fight. Well, the problem was, no one wanted to fight with her so she randomly punched a by-standing guard. Other guards had to rush in and calm her down, all without touching her, as that may have been seen as an act of war. "After that, all went ok, except I had no idea what I was talking about. I really had very little to go on, and was horribly worried they would figure out I wasn't Arthur. I had to keep looking at that history book and figuring out what they were talking about I think Kiku may have noticed, but Elizabeta was too busy arguing with no one, and Lili didn't say a single word. They are all very nice, though I think Elizabeta is a bit too extreme for my taste."

Then he had music with "Poland", or Feliks. Piano, violin, flute, cello. All instruments he could play, but either Arthur could play them better, or the teacher was just horribly mean. "I apparently "  
'Like couldn't play a goddamn thing right dude.' It was impossible. And it's not like I have ever seen or heard this music before, so I thought my playing was awesome for having no idea what I was doing." England sighed as he sat back in the chair, seemingly utterly exhausted. "How about you?" America laughed and told him about Matthew, his sword 'skills', and falling asleep in maps. England found the fact that Canada could whip his ass really funny. "It's CANADA. How could you lose?" England's eyes were watering from laughing, and America stuck out his tongue. "Ah, shut up. He was good and only looked like Canada. He's a bit more... badass."

A knock on the door let in a young woman that looked like Belgium. "Lunch is served." She sat down the trays on the table and left before they could even get her name. "This food better taste like heaven on earth." England rolled his eyes at America's comment, but he had to agree. Arguing and trying to keep up with the other queens, and being verbally abused by his music teacher was tiring.

The food ended up being ridiculous. Crab cakes with plum sauce, roasted chicken and gravy, green beans and buttered bread, and finally vanilla custard pie. "I thought this was lunch!" England cried at the sight of the spread. America was overjoyed though and tucked in the second he could. "Dude come on. Eat before I finish it all." This got a reaction, and England took some of the food before it disappeared into the endless stomach of the American. About a half hour later, England stood and stretched, America looking up from his pie questionably. "We only have another half hour before they

America shrugged as he continued eating his pastry. "And your point is..." England stared at him in disbelief. "Did you forget why we were here? We have to find a way home, you bloody git!" America chocked slightly on his dessert. How could he have forgotten? They were meeting in the library specifically to find those magic books that the real royals had mentioned; a way to get home. But now all America was thinking about was... England. Spending time with the older nation had never really appealed to him before. And now that they were stuck in a a far off alternate universe, America was so distracted by the prospect of alone time with the "queen" that he had completely forgotten what they were actually doing.

America stammered his way thru a response. "Uhhh, oh yeah! Right, of course. I knew that." He gave England an award winning smile, though he knew England wasn't buying it as he raised a bushy eyebrow. "Ooookkk. Anyway, before you got here, I looked around to see where the books on magic are. You start over there, and I'll look over here." America grinned and stood, saluting the Brit. "Aye, aye, captain!" England rolled his eyes and started running his hands over the spines of the magic books. He had to fight to control his laughter at stupid names. He had seen a lot of strange books as he loved magic, but these... 'Thirty Ways to Turn Your Frog Into A Prince', 'Communicating with the Merfolk for Dummies', and 'Evil Stepmothers- Fact of Fiction?' Come on. This was impossible.

England sank into the leather chair again after thirty minutes of reading thru every stupid magic book he had thought could be of use, like 'Teleportation and Time Travel- the Basics.' Unfortunately, that meant teleporting from here to the other side of the library, as any farther distance was far too dangerous, and time travel was both outlawed and irrelevant to the problem. England held his head in his hands. What were they doing here? True, he was adoring the extra attention and time with America; as a matter of fact it was what he had wanted for a very long time. But they had lives to return to, nations to look after. They couldn't spend eternity here, as amazing and surprising as this place was. Even if it ment going back to the way they were before...

"England, I think I may have something..." England was ripped from his daydreaming to see America biting his lip and holding a huge, thick book in his hands. England held out his hand, but instead, America squeezed tightly into the space next to England in the chair, making the Brit blush slightly. "What did you find?" America pointed to a paragraph on the page he was open to. The book was very old and the pages were dry and yellowing. "This bookmis simply called, 'An Overview of the Magic of the Kingdom of Spades.' I thought it sounded promising, so I looked inside. It took forever, but here, read this." England took the book from America and read the paragraph he was pointing to.

" Traveling between Universes has log ago been outlawed, as the holes in space can often not be fixed. Pieces of the other world can be left behind and alter the course of that world's history. Once a door is opened in one place, the same location can be used as a gateway again, for the power connecting the Universes is strongest there." America spoke up then. "That's what the maze we ended up in was. The leftovers from a previous hole." England shrugged. "So? Someone else got thru once. What does that mean for us?" America nodded vigorously, somewhat pleased England still didn't quite get it. "So if someone got thru once..." England's eyes lit up as he figured it out. "Then there has to be a way back, thru the same place we got pulled into." America nodded, though England was frowning slightly. "We still haven't figured out what we need to do to open the gate though." America shrugged and ate the last piece of pie, just as Yao walked into the library to escort them to the rest of their day. "This is a start. Now we know it's possible, and we still have plenty of time."

"Plenty of time for what, aru?" Both men jumped at the sound of the China doppelgänger. America turned and smiled mischievously at the Jack of Spades. "That's our little secret." England cringed as Yao turned the color of a beet. "Oh, uh, yes. Ok your Majesties. Um. Anyway..." Yao coughed into his hand while America tried to hide his laughter and England glared daggers at him. "We have the rest of the day to attend, aru." Both impostors sighed and stood. "Lead the way Chiiiiiiiiii Yao." Yao looked at the boy that had just butchered his name and his future queen who was now elbowing him Such a strange pair...

* * *

America was led off to the rest of his day while Yao dragged England off to what was apparently the Queen's office. Stacks and piles and mounds of paperwork were all over the place, but England could tell the room was beautiful. The carpet was a deep royal blue and the walls light blue like the sky. The desk was mahogany- or something like mahogany- and the huge window looked out onto the rose garden of the palace. That was the thing that caught England's eye the most.

The rose garden was just inside the palace walls, and though it wasn't very big, it was beautiful. All of the roses were bright blue and huge, just now starting to die at the peak of the seven hot days. Tomorrow they would start over again as the snow came. England leaned against the glass and smiled down at the flowers. They looked so much like the ones in his garden back home. Well, his weren't blue. But the idea was still there.

"Arthur, aru. We need to get to work." England sighed and turned away from his window, sitting down in the hard oak chair behind the desk. "So what exactly are we doing?" England bit his lip, hoping that the real Arthur wasn't very good at finances either. Fortunately, Yao simply smiled and began lying out documents, talking England thru each of them. England caught on relatively quickly considering he had never seen this stuff before. But that was the way he was. More brains than brawn.

Hours went by and still there were more papers to be signed. Bloody hell, being the Queen of Spades was hard. Eventually England lost concentration, choosing to sign the papers without really thinking so that he could allow his mind to wander to the handsome American he had kissed the night before. How wonderful it would be if they could just... Just what though? What exactly did England want from America? There was no way to get it, whatever it was. But that didn't mean England couldn't daydream about the way his lips had felt, the bright blue shine in his eyes, his sun kissed skin...

Sighing heavily, England forced himself to focus back on the papers, spirits rising as he saw that there were only a few papers left. "Thank you aru. You have done very well today. We must go to that meeting with the staff next." Groaning, England lay his head on the desk, earning a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry aru, but I will try to make them keep it short." They walked down the hall and England took a moment to look out the window to see America wiping down his neck, just finishing up his workout. He was no longer wearing a shirt, and the sweat on his back was glistening in the sun against his dark skin. Absolutely perfect. Even though he was obviously tired, he was smiling and laughing with someone who looked like Canada. England allowed a small smile to grace his lips as he thought of kissing the handsome, happy American.

The meeting with the staff was uglier than the one earlier. A lot of servants in tha palace had problems with one another, though they all seemed to love the future king and queen. Plenty of fights broke out and England tried his best to keep everyone diplomatic. After the third fight (This one between the cook and the gardener over who was in charge of worrying if the castle's vegetables tasted good) England was staring at the watch on his waist, praying for time to go faster. He did end up helping everyone though, settling most of the problems get settled, though he did lose his temper more than once.

"That was perfect, your Majesty. Now we can go to dinner with Alfred and the other royals." England dragged his head up from the arm of the throne he was reclining in, where it had been for the last few arguments. Finally he would be able to see Alfred again, and even be forced to act in love. That wasn't so bad in the end either.

Even though the day had been far too long for him, England suddenly had all the energy in the world. Yao smiled as the prince bounded out of the throne room and down the halls in search of the dining room. Love. The two royals were so obviously and ridiculously in love. The day was long and tiring if they didn't see each other, and Yao always felt a bit bad about making them split up. Still. They still had so much to learn about ruling the Kingdom of Spades. Maybe enjoying a nice meal with the rulers of the other Kingdoms would help them, at least a little. A month until the coronation. And if they weren't prepared? It didn't matter. There wasn't a choice. The Kingdom needed it's King and Queen.


	8. A Dash of Lust

**OK WARNING. I have written smut before this chapter, but never published it. Please please PLEASE review it, because I am working on smut in one of my other stories and need to get it down. Think of this as a dry run. By the way, this chapter was not in my original plan for this story, so that's why the rating has been bumped to M. It's not that bad, and I apologize if it seems rushed, but in the end I realized it was necessary. We are halfway thru the stroy, maybe a little more, and it was taking too damn long. So yeah. That's all I got to say. Hope you like... :0**

* * *

In all honesty, the dining hall looked better tonight than it had the night before. Fewer people, less colors. England was beginning to like the blues that seemed to show up in every corner of the palace. They reminded him of Americas eyes. That wasn't the only reason, of course. Or at least that's what he tried to tell himself. The only downside to the current state of the room was the other people. God, did Francis have to look just as perverted as his country- counterpart? And if Elizaveta didn't put down that frying pan, there were going to be serious problems. "Ah, Arthur. Welcome to the party, mon ami!" England forced a smile as he noticed that America wasn't there yet. Wonderful, more entertaining this freaks alone.

"Uh, good evening everyone." England dragged himself over to his seat at one of the ends of the table, blessedly separated from the King of Diamonds by Roderich of Clubs, Feliciano and Kiku of Hearts on his right. "How was your day in Spades?" Everyone immediately launched into conversation about how beautiful the kingdom was, which was strange for England, considering he had never been outside the palace. This was his kingdom, and the visiting diplomats had seen more than him! Wait, what was he thinking? England shook himself. He was the bloody British Empire, not the future Queen of Spades. God, this place was really getting to him.

Resting his head in his hand while setting his elbow on the arm of the throne, England willed himself to listen to Feliciano gabber on about the lack of pasta in the Kingdom of Spades. Apparently some things don't vary from one universe to the next. Somehow, England found that comforting. At least not everything was different here, though it seemed like plenty of it was. Since when had Italy and Germany been so... intimate? What if that was another truth. England bit back a giggle. Now that was an interesting thought...

"Sorry I'm late. Fine arts... so much fun I just couldn't leave." Everyone in the room smiled and nodded as America- eh, Alfred- entered, but England heard the sarcasm as he spoke about art. Always the uncultured brat... still, the Brit smiled widely as he saw the younger nation. At least the stuck up royals would have someone else to talk to while and annoy besides him. As nice as it was to hear the similarities between these versions of his friends, it also reminded him that most of the countries back home annoyed him to no end. It was a cold day in hell that England was actually excited about the prospect of seeing those obnoxious nations again, but at least they were familiar.

America stared across the table and smiled his biggest smile at his "Queen". He looked so... beautiful. It had to be said. His green eyes seemed to glow in the soft candle lights, and the soft blonde hair framed his pale skin perfectly. He had seen this all before, but something about tonight made it all the more wonderful. A small part of him wondered if England saw him that same way.

It had been another long hard workout with Matthew, and another beating by the Canada doppelgänger. That idea still annoyed him, but he wasn't about to tell anyone that. But during the practice, America had caught sight of England working away in his office, signing paper after paper and looking wistfully out the window and down to the ground below him. After finishing, America had spoken to Matthew about it. "Have you never been over there, your Majesty?" America had paled slightly, worried he had given himself away. "No, I suppose you haven't." Matt took care of his fears right away. Apparently the King didn't really have any business over there anyway. "That's the Queen's personal rose garden. The guards will have to cover it tonight for the seven days of snow. Which reminds me, we will be training inside for the next few days, though I'm sure you already knew that."

Rose garden, hm? America was a sly country, and as of recently he had wanted to spend more time with the older, grumpy nation he had managed to kiss the night before. If tonight was the last night it wasn't going to be snowing, raining, or cloudy while they were here, he better use it to his advantage. The fine arts teacher (who had looked suspiciously like Taiwan) was somewhat of a romantic, so when America had presented his idea to her, she had allowed it in a heartbeat, excusing him from fine arts to "woo his future Queen". Well, alright then.

America had kept his adventure to himself, telling everyone that fine arts had been long and boring, which he was sure it would have been had he stayed for it. Though he had been excited for his surprise beforehand, the look of sheer boredom on England's face as he listened to King Ivan talk about his favorite types of vodka (they had vodka here?) made it even better. The point wasn't just to impress England. It was to make his day better and know that America was the one to have done it.

Dinner went by mostly without a glitch. Mostly meaning that Elizaveta only hit Francis in the head with the frying pan three times, Feliciano only complained about the missing pasta on the menu for about five minutes, and Ludwig managing to keep his frustrated yelling pretty much under control. Of course, America was forced to sit on the other end of the table from England, so they both had the pleasure of entertaining the finicky royals. More than once they met each other's eyes across the table, trying their best to convey their mutual hatred of this particular event. If they had been next to one another then the night may have been more bearable.

Once again the spread was magnificent, consisting of a cheese and broccoli soup and bread sticks as an appetizer, a large garden salad (That America only ate a bite of, under the watchful and reproachful eyes of England), a large serving of roast beef, mashed potatoes and green beans with gravy. England thought he was going to explode by the time dessert came around, but he noted that America was still happily eating away. Did he ever run out of room in that black hole of a stomach?

Dessert was the grandest part of the night. A large, four tiered cake was brought out as a belated engagement gift to the 'happy couple'. More than once thru the devouring of the cake, said couple were pleaded to kiss, particularly by one King of Diamonds. Both America and England adamantly refused, believing it was what the other wanted, coming up with stupid reasons to escape the awkwardness of last night. They were too far away- then get up and go over to the other. They were too tired- for even a simple kiss? Yes, the excuses were weak, but America had a talent for distractions and managed to make everyone forget all about their requested display of affection as he displayed the way to balance a spoon on your nose.

Finally, FINALLY! England thought the dinner would never end and he would forever be stuck at one end of a long mahogany table, staring at yet another piece of cake that had been laced in front of him. "Your Majesties, the rooms you stayed in last night are prepared. If you would please follow me, you may retire for the evening aru." England was really starting to like Yao. He was very on top of things, and from what he knew of the real king and queen, he was probably the only reason the whole Kingdom hadn't collapsed yet. Yawning, England stood as soon as the last light laugh from Feliciano had faded down the hallway, aiming to go off to bed. So he was quite surprised as America came over and grabbed his sleeve, pulling him towards another door on the other side of the room.

"America, what are you doing? I'm tired we should go to bed. I'm sure tomorrow is going to be just as hectic as today..." America was grinning like an idiot and continued to drag England down a side hallway and towards a door. "Not yet. I have a surprise for you." England raised his bushy eyebrows in confusion. "A surprise? What for?" America flashed him a mischievous grin that had England both terrified and excited. "You'll just have to wait and see." Once they reached the door at the end of the hall, America stopped and placed his hands over England's eyes. "Ok, I'm going to open the door, but no peeking."

England rolled his eyes under the American's hands. "What is this about America?" The younger country just laughed and opened the door, pushing his mentor outside into the pleasant, summer like air. "On the count of three I am going to drop my hands. One." England bit his lip slightly. They were outside, that he could tell. But where? "Two." America could hardly wait to see the British man's reaction to his surprise. He leaned in over the smaller man's shoulders and whispered, "Three." With that he dropped his hands to reveal what he had done to England, hoping he would at least acknowledge how much work went into it. He was not disappointed.

England's eyes widened at the sight in front of him. It was breathtaking, and the best part was that America had done it all for him. The only question he could feel nagging at the back of his mind was why, but he decided to ignore it for now and enjoy America's surprise.

They were in the Queen's rose garden, the one directly under the Queen's office. The weather was going to change in a matter of hours, so all of the roses were at the height of their bloom- huge blue petals with a deep purple center. There were separate bushes, but also huge walls of the gree, thornless vines covered in the same flawless flowers. It was the natural beauty of the garden that first struck England. Then he noticed the things that America had added.

The hedge was covered in tiny twinkling lights with no obvious power line. Upon closer inspection it turned out they were fireflies, completely willingly sitting on the leaves of the roses bushes. On the ground in front of England was a deep purple and blue blanket with a candle, a bottke of wine, and two wine glasses. "I know wine is more of Francey-pants' thing, but ya know." England spun to see America shyly rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the ground. He looked so... perfect.

"When did you do all this?" America smiled more broadly this time. "Well my arts teacher decided to go easy on me and let me leave. Soooo I used my time to set up this little picnic. Do you like it, Iggy?" England slowly walked back over to America, his head down. America bit his lip in the slight worry that England did not appreciate his gift. "Don't call me Iggy, you bloody git." England then reached up and wrapped his arms around the American's neck, bringing their foreheads together and whispered, "And of course I like it." With that he brought his lips up to meet America's in their second kiss, and this one on purpose.

For a moment, America had no idea how to respond. Here was England, the man who NEVER showed his feelings, kissing him in a rose garden in an alternate universe. It only really took him a moment to realize that he shouldn't be thinking so hard about it, so he kissed back, arms wrapping around the lithe man's waist and bringing him closer. The sweet taste of England's history invaded his mouth- the sweet taste of tea and the metallic one of gold. Too soon, England pulled away an looked up into America's sapphire eyes. "What... what have I done?" He stepped backwards in utter fear and horror, leaving the younger nation to blink in confusion. "What..."

England had a hand to his mouth and was shaking his head. Without another word, he ran back into the palace, leaving a very puzzled, somewhat hurt American behind. "What the hell was that about?" Instead of thinking too much about it, he turned on his heels and ran inside after the runaway Briton.

* * *

England had ran aimlessly thru the palace, the same words running thru his head. What have I done? He wasn't even sure of what had happened. All he knew was that one second he was trying to think of a way to thank America for his wonderful gift. The next he was throwing himself at the American idiot. He was positive the idea that the fool had actually responded to the kiss was just his imagination running wild. When he finally found his room again, he ran to the wall and slowly sank to the ground, tears falling freely. He had really messed up this time. America probably hated him, or was at least horribly disgusted. Pulling his knees up to his chest, England silently sobbed.

America took way longer to find his way back to their room, both because he was rather poor at directions and he had checked every room he had come across for England. What the hell had he done that made England run off like that? He couldn't be THAT bad of a kisser, right? Finally he decided to go back to their room, hoping England had the same thought at some point. It took him another half hour to find the door his was looking for, and when he entered the room he was both happy and horrified when he saw England.

He was slumped against a wall, head on his knees and shaking like a leaf. "Iggy!" England's head snapped up at the stupid nickname and America's heart broke when he saw the tear stains streaking down the smaller countrie's face. Neither one moved for a minute, until England put his head back down on his knees and whispered, "Please don't say anything. Just leave me alone." America frowned and walked over to the cowering Brit. "I can't leave you alone. I'm the hero, and you're in distress, so I have to save you. That's how it works." England couldn't help but crack a tiny smile at the nonchalant way America said his hero speech, just like always.

"I especially have to help you because I'm the one that cause the distress." This quiet comment made England's head snap up. America had sat down on the floor in front of him, cross legged, and was staring down at his lap. "Wh..what are you talking about." England sniffled, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. America's lips turned into a pout as he answered. "Well, you ran away when I started kissing you... whatever I did, I'm sorry." He looked up and gave England his signature puppy dog eyes. England blinked in surprise. "What are you bloody going on about?" Now America looked confused.

"I ran away because..." England stopped and bit his lip, eyes still wet with tears. "I thought I was doing something wrong. That you didn't like me like that." America raised an eyebrow. "You didn't notice me kissing back?" England blushed deeply. "I thought I was imagining it." America stared at him blankly before breaking out in laughter. He fell to the floor and held his sides while he broke out into hysterics. England rolled his eyes. "Ok, it's not that funny." But he was smiling now too. America pulled himself together and sat up. He leaned forward so his and England's noses were inches away from one another. "You weren't imagining things, England." And America kissed England pressing him into the wall and cutting off whatever response England had in store for him.

England's head was spinning. So he wasn't crazy! Well, at least not in this respect. He quickly pressed against the kiss, his tongue asking for entrance. He was quickly allowed in and began exploring the mouth he had thought about for a very long time. The taste of campfires and gunpowder entered his mouth while he let America's tongue into his mouth again. He felt the tan arms wrap around his waist and pull him off the wall and slowly stand up, letting the strong American support him. Without breaking their kiss, America picked up the light Brit and carried him over to the bed, slowly setting him down and sitting down facing him. One of England's hands was on the back of his neck and the other was running down his chest. America sighed contently for a moment and broke their kiss, putting his forehead to England's.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this with you." England laughed quietly. "I think I do actually." America smirked and pushed him down onto the bed, getting on top of him quickly. England smiled sweetly as his hand began to make it's way under the American's shirt, forcing it up and over his shoulders. Connecting their lips again, England began tracing the well defined muscles of the younger nation's torso, earning slight shivers as a response.

America was not about to let England take control of this situation. He unbuttoned the collared shirt his partner was wearing and slipped it off his pale shoulders. Breaking their kiss, he moved to drag slow kisses across the man's jaw, neck and chest. England moaned softly against the kisses, trying to get a bit more attention. How had they gone from barely speaking to this in such a short span of time? Not that his mind was too caught up in those thoughts at that moment. He was a bit too focused on the warm mouth that was inching lower and lower. he reached down and grabbed the American's chin, bringing him back up for another sloppy kiss. He soon broke it and moved to take of the 'king's' glasses. He decided to use his teeth and was rewarded by a look of lust filling his beautiful cerulean eyes.

Removing his one hand from America's back, England folded 'Texas' and set them aside, then ran his hands thru the American man's hair, looking for that one piece of hair that never seemed to behave. He knew he found it when America arched his back and let out a low moan. "En..ngland..." England smirked as he believed he had the upper hand. Not for long.

America had retaliated by resuming his abuse on the pale man's chest, tongue teasing his nipples. It was his turn to smirk at the perfect sound that escaped England's throat then, a low whine of lust. Slowly tracing down his abdomen, America unbuttoned the Brit's trousers sliding them off his flawless legs, his mouth never leaving his chest. England grasped at his hair again, making America shudder in anticipation and pleasure. This had NOT been in the plan for tonight; at most he had been hoping for a chaste kiss. But hell, who was he to complain?

England was getting tired of America's teasing. His hands always ghosting ever so close to his already aching member, but never touching it. His boxers had come off with his trousers and he was entirely exposed under the strong American. "America, bloody hurry up." He met the boys shining blue eyes then, a mischievous look playing in them. "Hurry up what, Iggy?" His hand barely touched England's length, making his hips buck. "Gaa..ahhh. Touch me, please America." America smiled darkly and kissed down England's chest. The Briton gasped as his head was suddenly surrounded by America's warm mouth.

It was slow and agonizingly painful as America slowly took England deeper and deeper, holding his hips against the bed so he could set the pace. England continued to pull his lover's hair, moaning as he tried to get deeper into his mouth. Finally America took his entire length into his mouth and began slowly bobbing his head. England groaned as he tried to make America speed up. "You... fucking tease!" America removed his mouth with a pop and began undoing the buttons on his own pants. "Somebody's impatient." England flashed him a familiar scowl, then took in the perfect sight of America's naked form. He was tan and muscular, with a few scars here and there. He may not be totally un-marred, but it made him even more perfect- perfectly American.

America leaned in for another kiss, England running his hands up and down his spine. He broke the kiss and held three long fingers to England's lips. He let them in and began coating them in saliva, swirling his tongue around them to make sure they were thoroughly covered. America removed his fingers and gave his lover a sweet kiss before moving his fingers down to his entrance and pressing one finger in. England broke their kiss as he hissed out in pain. "Shhh, it's ok." America started peppering kisses down England's jaw and to his ear where he whispered sweet nothings while he pressed another finger in.

England whined this time, throwing his head back while America continued to suck softly on his neck, once and awhile adding pressure with his teeth. After a moment, America began stretching England's hole, scissoring his fingers. England was down to quiet whimpers which soon turned to soft moans of pleasure. Moving to suck on one of his nipples, America tried to make England focus on that while he put his last finger inside. "Ah, America!" England arched into the lips on his chest and the fingers inside of him. "America, hurry up already!" He heard a dark chuckle as America looked up at him. "Now we're bossy? I don't know England. A please would be nice..." America removed his fingers, leaving England empty and frustrated.

America spit into his hand and began lubing himself. "I'm not going any farther until I get a please." England planned to be defiant, but every shred of defiance was melted as America pressed his length to his entrance, prepared to enter but waiting. "God DAMN it America, PLEASE." America wasted no time as he slowly began to enter the smaller man's tight hole. "AHH!" England's hips bucked at the sudden intrusion, tears beginning to collect in the corners of his eyes. America leaned down to kiss them away, whispering to England that it was ok, that the pain would stop soon, while every moment pressing farther and farther into England's tight walls.

Finally, when he was all the way in, America waited impatiently for England to signal he was ok. When England nodded, his eyes dry of tears, America slowly pulled almost all the way out before slamming back in, making England moan loudly. Now all he had to do was find... "AHHH AMERICA!" He smirked as he heard his lover scream his name. Found it. Now aiming for that spot, America began mercilessly pounding England. With every thrust, England felt the pool of heat in his stomach grow, barely able to take a breath that didn't consist of a moan or shout. America was moaning now to, his hands on England's hips, moving him in the ever growing pace he had set.

"En..ngland You're ss...oo tight." America leaned down to connect his lips with England's again in a sloppy, lust filled kiss. England groaned as he pulled America's hair again. America then slipped his hand to start pumping England's member. England threw his head back, effectively ending their kiss. "America.. I'm going to..." Without another word, England came on their chests, screaming his lover's name. The look on England's face was enough to send America over the edge as well. "Gahh, ENGLAND." He rode out his climax before pulling out of the exhausted man beneath him.

Reaching up he smoothed the sweat dampened hair out of England's half open eyes. "You look tired." England rolled his eyes and grabbed America's chin, pulling him into a long, passionate kiss. "So do you, love." America grinned and pulled the duvet around them, choosing to ignore the fact they were horribly gross at the moment. "We'll clean up tomorrow." He winked and pulled England to his chest, kissing him on the top of his head. England tried to squirm out his grasp, and America sighed inwardly as the old, stubborn England resurfaced. "Let go, you bloody git." Eventually, when he realized America had no intentions of relaxing his grip, he sighed heavily and made himself comfortable against the warm, toned chest.

"Goodnight Iggy." America pressed another kiss to the man's temple, quietly whispering, "I love you, my queen." England rolled his eyes again but mumbled, "I love you too, though how you ended up king I'll never understand." America frowned and stuck out his tongue, but smiled softly when he saw that England had already fallen asleep. Resting his head on the pillow and nuzzling his nose into the Brit's hair, America started to think about how they would feel about all of this in the morning. Eventually he decided it wasn't worth thinking about as he was terribly exhausted and distracted by the sweet scent of honey coming from England's hair. His last thoughts being of the British man's sweet scent, America allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

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**I'm not usually one for them just going to sleep, but that's usually my feelings in one shots. Because this one has a next chapter I felt it was an ok way to end it. Sorry if you're like me and enjoy better endings, but it had to end that way. Well... please review. I'm going to go get psychological help now...**


	9. Seductive Reasoning

**Yello. My aplogies for the strange formatting of this chapter. It had to be done. Sooooo things kinda go down in the chapter even if it starts a wee bit slow. Never fear, there will be more smut and such in this story. Just... not yet. I make you wait cause I am evil. Ask my friends. They know how devious I am. ANYWHO. If you have a oneshot pairing you would like to suggest to me, I have been feeling like writing some things besides USUK. If your pairing includes them with someone else... I'll consider it but if it's France and England I... I just can't. It's like the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob of Hetalia. I can't switch sides. I do not disrespect the pairing- it had merit. But I can't. I also can't do Russia and America. Mostly cause Russia freaks me out and I ship him with China SO hard. But I will do most other ones or I will try. Damn I get off track easy. This is kinda a filler chapter so I'm sorry if it kinda sucketh. Enjoy! **

* * *

The days of snow were beautiful, all the more so for the two fake royals that no longer had to pretend they felt nothing for the other. It seemed like the ability to convince the people around them that they were the actual, love struck future king and queen became easier and easier. Nothing they did could be wrong now, and everyone was noticing. Yao couldn't stop bragging about how wonderful Queen Arthur was doing at his work. Apparently he had gotten much more into and rarely complained anymore. Matthew too was always talking about King Alfred and his sudden extreme skill at fighting. It was strange but no one was complaining. The two young men seemed beyond happy, especially when they were together.

America was on cloud nine. For years he had silently drooled over England, constantly keeping his cool and always annoying the older nation. England had always looked out for him even when he pushed him away. Finally, after all dancing around one another they were together. Not that this was the way he had planned for it to happen (well, in all honesty he hadn't planned for it to happen at all) but there was something absolutely magical and insane about the fact they had fallen in love in an alternate universe where they were the king and queen. How much more romantic can you get?

If it was possible, England was even more happy. Going from an older brother to a lover wasn't nearly as awkward as he thought it would be, and America was everything he could have dreamed of. And he had dreamed of it a lot. Working with Yao, listening to complaining servants, and dealing with stuffy dinners now felt like th most amazing thing he could be doing. Of course, he was still Great Britain, the easily pissed off nation that had little patience for idiots, so it didn't necessarily mean he never lost his temper with stupid people in stupid arguments. Fortunately it seemed like everyone expected this kind of behavior of the future queen, so once again, nothing was off.

And so the days passed. America kept surprising England with how romantic he could be when he wanted to. Ice skating on the frozen pond outside. Dinners eaten on the closed off balcony to watch the gorgeous snowfall. But lunch was always taken in the library. Now that they both knew the other's feelings, they were no longer afraid to go home. They now spent every moment of their free time searching for ways home, but nothing was coming up.

"UGH! This is ridiculous. How many more stupid magic books do we have to read?" America flung the book he was holding onto the growing stack of rejects. England sighed from his spot near the fire as he too closed the book he was reading. "I must agree, this is impossible. There are so many books here, and not a single one has helped. We need to be prepared to return home when the two idiot royals get back. There certainly can't be two of each of us." America frowned. "You know, according to everyone around here, we are exactly like them. So I don't know if calling them idiots is such a good idea..." England glared at him and America raised his hands. "Just saying."

The days were long and the nights were heated for the two. Every moment that they were seperate was spent planning the wedding and the coronation. Learning how to walk right, talk right, what to wear, what forks to use when. It all seemed stupid considering they weren't even the ones that would be at the wedding, and yet they went along with it. Not only to stay away from suspicion, but because it was surprisingly fun. England had a natural knack for organizing and planning, and America was great at tasting the food and saying his opinions.

And so the week of snow went by. By the last day the two men were exhausted from all the planning, research and night time activities. So the second Yao mentioned a carnival in the nearby town to celebrate the end of the snow, America jumped at the idea. "Can we go?" Yao looked surprised, then pleased. He may have raised Arthur, but he couldn't help but love the choice of king. He was full of excitement and life, always trying to get Arthur to do more. "Yes, aru. That is, if you can convince Arthur." Grinning like a madman, America sprinted thru the castle to hunt down his 'queen'. After a week of being kept inside he knew the way around a bit more now, at least the way from the throne room to the Queen's office. Bursting thru the door, he took a moment to admire England who sat at his desk, feet up on the mahogany and light skin glowing softly in the firelight.

"England!" England jumped slightly, looking up from the papers he had been reading intently. "America? I thought you were with Yao in the throne room, tasting wine or something." America nodded excitedly and sat in the chair on the other side of the desk. "I was but, one, I'm not really a huge fan of wine. Where's France when you need him?" England scoffed and shook his head. "There is nothing that could make me want that frog here." America waved his hands in dismissiveness. "Anyway, Yao told us that we can go into town tonight. There's apparently a carnival or something going on tonight because it's the last day of snow. Come with me?"

England looked horrified. "Go outside? In this blizzard. No thank you." America looked out the window so see a very light snowfall, getting less and less strong every moment. "I think you are being over dramatic. It's barely snowing." England bristled as he refocused on the papers he was holding. "Well, it's still freezing and I have no interest in catching a cold a few weeks before our supposed wedding. I don't want to find out what kind of doctors they have here." He looked down and kept his focus on his work even as he felt America stand and walk nonchalantly around the desk to stand behind him. England froze as America started massaging his shoulders.

"You need to relax, babe. We aren't really going to rule this kingdom so we don't really need to work so hard." England knew what the younger country was doing and as much as he wanted to argue and struggle, the feeling of America's strong hands on his shoulders, down his back... he could barely speak at all. "America... stop. I know what you're doing and it's not going to work." There was no edge in the comment, and both of them knew it. Leaning in close, America whispered in England's ear. "If you come with me, I'll make it worth your while..." England's eyelids fluttered at the feeling of America's hot breathe on his neck, but still shook his head.

America was getting frustrated. This usually worked perfectly. So he amped up the seductiveness, arms wrapping around England's stomach and pressing his lips to his neck. "We've never been outside the palace. Pretty please baby...?" Finally England, turned around, an accusing look in his eye. "How do you always manage to make me do what you want?" America smiled sweetly and pulled his arms out to place them on England's shoulders again. "Five minutes, be downstairs. I'll let Yao know we are going." He kissed the Brit on the cheek and ran off. England rolled his eyes but stood up and started towards the bedroom to hunt down something warmer than the deep blue sweater vest and slacks he was wearing.

His statement had been right. America always managed to get his way, whether he used his puppy dog eyes, persuasive attitude or- most recently- a little sweet talking and steamy kisses. He was still such a child in hindsight, and yet he was a world superpower. He never ceased to amaze the older nation even now. England found himself smiling as he pulled on the warmer clothes and headed down to meet the King and the Jack of Spades for a trip to town in the snow.

* * *

Of course America had started laughing when he saw England wearing three jackets, a winter coat, two pair of pants, three pairs of socks, a scarf and a hat. He had immediately stopped laughing when they made the walk from the palace to the carriage outside and he started shivering in the single coat he was wearing, allowing England to smirk underneath his warmth. America would have blushed if he hadn't been blue with the cold. Five minutes later he raced back downstairs, now dressed more like England, and they left the gate of the palace for the first time since arriving.

The town outside was beautiful in a quaint, homey way. It looked like something out of a fairytale, with people in long aprons and worn clothing in the windows waving as the passed by. They were mostly poor but not to the point where they didn't have enough to get by. People lived well in the kingdom of Spades, a fact that Yao proudly mentioned as a small girl handed America a cup of hot chocolate when they arrived at the carnival. "Here, your Majesty." She had curtsied then, making America laugh and give her a kiss on the cheek. Her eyes had lit up and she had run off, screaming to her mother that the king had kissed her. "Always smooth, aren't we?" England smiled as America recovered from the girl screaming in his ear.

It may have been cold, but it appeared like everyone here was used to it. They were dressed warmly, but not like the royals. Children ran around with sparklers, waving and bowing to America and England. They stopped at different booths around the town square, where people were performing, playing games, or selling things. They watched a man swallow fire, enjoyed a short fencing match, and bought some more hot cocoa. After about an hour of wandering, England felt exhausted, if exhilarated, by the days events. He sat down on a bench and America moved to sit next to him.

"No no, go have fun. I'm just exhausted, you don't have to stay." America looked torn as he glanced around. Stay with England or look around more. His look didn't escape the Brit''s notice. Laughing lightly he pushed America towards the crowd again. "Go on, I'll be right here." A final warm smile sealed the deal for America and he kissed England passionately. "Don't wander off ok?" He looked so genuinely worried that England laughed again. "I promise I won't." America nodded with satisfaction and called Matt over.

"Please make sure nothing happens to Eng-Arthur for me." Matthew nodded and sat down on the bench. Britain rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "I don't need a babysitter." America chuckled and kissed his head. "No, but you are the queen and every queen I've heard of has a bodyguard. I love you." England scoffed but smiled slightly. "Go. Have Fun." With that America slipped into the crowd, leaving England behind with the capable Ace of Spades.

* * *

England carried out friendly conversation with Matthew for awhile but eventually decided it was far too cold to stay outside and told the Ace he was going into a tavern across the street to warm up. "I must accompany you, your Majesty." England had shrugged and allowed the Canada look alike to follow him inside. Instead of joining the queen by the fire, Matt stood by the door and kept an eye on everyone inside the pub. It was packed because it was one of the few bars still open on the night of the Snow Festival, and was one of the only places with a fire going. From time to time he would lose sight of Arthur, who was reclining in a chair by the fire, but then someone would move and his line of sight restored.

One of the bartenders had brought the British man a small glass of vodka and telling him it would warm him up. He had hesitantly been drinking it for the last few minutes and he had to admit it made his blood heat up. Maybe this was why Russia and his cold home enjoyed the drink so much. England was a lightweight, and after the third shot of vodka he was feeling even more tired than when he came inside, and now it was a drunken stupor kind of tired. He felt much to warm in all the clothes he was wrapped up in and wanted to get back to the castle and sleep the alcohol off. But fate was not to be kind that night.

While struggling to stand up, a strong pair of arms looped their way around the queen's waist. England's first thought was of America, that he had heard he was wasted and come to take him back. Unfortunately, that possibility was quickly squashed as a rough, calloused hand clamped over his mouth. A husky voice appeared in his ear. "I wouldn't squirm too much you Highness, or we're gonna have to start hurting these lovely witnesses." Every cell in England's body was on high alert now, his foggy brain momentarily clearing to allow him to listen to the man.

He went with them fairly quietly out the back door, but the moment they were alone, England stomped on the man's foot and elbowed him in the stomach. His attacker doubled over in pain, groaning, and released his hold on the Brit. Still drunk, England started to stumble up the alley, only to run face first into another man. He was much bigger and stronger than the first and as soon as he felt the large arms wrap around his body, holding his arms to his sides, England knew there was no escape. He tried to scream but the first man had recovered enough that he was helping the big one.

"The future Queen of Spades looks tired. Let's help with that." England could hear the sneer in the man's voice and before he could even get enough air in his lungs to scream, a damp clothe was pressed over his nose and mouth. Something England had learned was that he was rather violent when drunk, if a little less coordinated, so though he couldn't win the fight he still kicked and scratched for as long as he could, eyes blazing with fury even as they grew heavier and heavier. "Sweet dreams, Prince Arthur." England's attacks ceased as he gave into oblivion, his last thoughts spent on damning alcohol to hell.

* * *

America didn't really want to leave England alone, especially because this was their first time outside of the castle since arriving, but he had honestly looked dead tired while America still had too much bottled up energy. Besides, he wanted to buy England a souvenir from their insane adventure in the Kingdom of Cards so they would remember it when they got home. Not that he thought they would be forgetting it any time soon.

He wandered from booth to booth, trying to decide on something the stubborn nation would like. He did like musical instruments, but the instruments here were unlike anything they had back home. The random trinkets were cute, but had no purpose and England liked everything to have a function. Food would go bad and wouldn't last, so that was out...

Finally America wandered over to a woman selling clothes, hats, pins and other accessories. "Hello your Majesty. See anything you like?" He glanced halfheartedly at the collection but was suddenly struck by a silver pocket watch ticking under the other displays. He carefully removed it and noted the spade engraved on the back. England had a watch similar to this; the Queen's watch. He would probably have to return that to the actual queen before they left, so giving him one that looked exactly like it... "How much for the watch?" The lady smiled sweetly, a hand going up to run thru her long curly black hair. "Only five pieces of silver for the King." America chuckled and handed her five pieces of gold. She looked at the coins in wonder, then glanced up at whom she thought was her future king. "Thank you, your Majesty." He smiled again and wandered off to look around some more.

It long before America lost all the pent up energy he had. It was far too cold, even if it was supposedly going to simply be cloudy tomorrow instead of snow. So he decided to wander back to the spot he had left Matthew and England. Upon returning he didn't see them and inwardly groaned. "What part of 'don't wander off' didn't he get?" he grumbled softly. Suddenly he saw Matt running towards him, a horrified expression on his face. "YOUR MAJESTY! YOU MUST COME WITH ME!" Before he could say a word, Matthew grabbed his coat and yanked him down the street to where the carriage was. "Matt! Slow down, what's going on?" Everything America was asking was lost in the crowd of people still milling about.

Matt threw America into the carriage and slammed the door. Still horribly confused, America moved to ask England what was going on, but when he turned around he was alone. He assumed someone else had gone to get England, but was immediately worried when the carriage started moving instead. He stuck his head out the window and yelled at Matt, who was holding the reins. "Wait! Where are you going? Where's Arthur?" Matt simply snapped the reins in response, the carriage pulling away at high speed and sending America tumbling back into the seat. Righting himself, he tried to speak with Matt, but the wind carried his words backwards and made his face cold. Finally resigning, he hoped that someone else had taken England back, though the reason he had yet to figure out.

When they finally arrived he saw Yao standing at the gate, his face a mask of no emotions. America bounded up the steps to him and started begging for answers. "What's going on? Why did we leave? Where is Arthur?" Yao gestured for the guards to follow and led America inside. They walked for what seemed like hours, America spewing unanswered questions the entire way. They arrived at the Queen's office then and Yao held up his hands for the guards to wait outside the door. He, Matthew and America entered the room alone. Yao still hadn't spoken and simply gestured for America to sit while Matt started closing the curtains and stoking the fire.

Finally, the two other men collapsed in chairs, Matthew with his head in his hands and Yao staring intently at the fire. America had remained silent once they entered the room as well. He knew something was wrong because England wasn't there, but he had yet to learn what. Finally, Yao took out a piece of paper from his pocket. "The Ace of Spades found this paper where Prince Arthur was sitting inside a tavern in town. Apparently one second he was there and the next he was gone, aru." Matthew was shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. Shakily, America took the paper and read it.

_Three days is all you have to bring the code to us. If the Queen opens the vault, he shall be returned alive. If you fail to show up he will simply be made an example of and we shall move on to another kingdom, until we get what we deserve._

America looked up at the two men in confusion. "What does this mean? Who the hell has Arthur?!" Yao bit his lip and hung his head while Matthew moaned in despair. This did not look good. "We believe it is the Chessmen, aru. The code is the one to the Vault of Spades. They already have everything they need to open it, including the future Queen of Spades." America felt his heart sink with those words. Yao sighed. "The Chessmen have kidnapped the Queen."

* * *

**Oh Lord do I need mental help. I really am losing it over herrrr. So very busy. But I like where this chapter is leading and I know where I want it to go soooooo I hope to update... soon. K thanks people :) **


	10. Skeleton Kings and Pointed Teeth

**GAHHHH It doth been too long. I recently hit something known to many a writer. The accursed writer's block. Never fear, for I am COMPLETELY over it. Some of this chapter was a struggle to finish but the ending was like an epiphany for me. Just so you know, the Chessmen are NOT Hetalia charcters. I couldn't bring myself to make any of my precious baby's evil. :( Soooooo they are just people. Eh, chess pieces YOU GET ME. Anywho, enjoy and I hope to update sooner cause I'm on a roll with this story right now. Tanks for reading, please review and all dat. I doth love dem reviews. **

* * *

England didn't feel very good when he woke up. No, scratch that he felt like hell had decided to pull him down, beat him up, drug him, eat him, then spit him back out. His head hurt like someone had taken a hammer to it, his stomach hurt like there was a snake constricting him, and he could barely remember anything. The last coherent thought of his was being in the bar in Spades, drinking to keep warm. After that... it was simply a flurry of movement, pain and darkness. There was still darkness now, and the logical side of England's brain said that this was a good thing. Light would probably have made his head hurt even more.

Shaking his head he tried to get his bearings. He felt the gag in his mouth and was lying on his sides. The floor was also... moving? Oh, they were in a carriage. The snake around his stomach was a rope tying his arms to his sides, and as England craned his neck until he saw another rope around his ankles. He still could barely move because each movement shot shockwaves of pain thru his head and down his spine. Finally, he stopped moving and tried to listen to the conversation going on above him even though the voices seemed miles away.

"Will Alfred bring the code?" "Of course, he has no choice if he wants to see his 'blushing bride' again." England felt himself heat up even though he knew they thought he was the queen and didn't actually know about the truth. "Then all pretty boy here needs to do is use it to open the Vault and we will make off with every shred of the Kingdom of Spade's magic." England's eyes turned the size of saucers. Magic? It did make sense considering they were in the craziest world ever, but what did these men want with it? And what code would America need to bring? And why did they need him to open the Vault?

"The Rook will be so pleased that we got him on the first try, and with barely a fight. We were lucky he was drunk." You bet you were, or I would have kicked you to kingdom come, England thought darkly. "I think he will be more pleased that the Queen won't be cutting off his head." "I am glad I don't have to deal with her and her crazy protectiveness of that King. It's times like these it's good to be a simple Pawn." England's mind was whirling. The fog was starting to clear and he was piecing together what the men were saying. Protective Queen. A powerful Rook. Workmen Pawns. Even though he had only read their name once, England knew who the people that had kidnapped him were. The Chessmen.

* * *

Silence filled the Queen's study. America read the short note over and over, dying to ask questions but fearing his voice would come out weak. Matthew could do nothing but mumble apologies for losing Arthur even after America had waved them aside, quietly reassuring him that the Brit had ways of getting into trouble no matter what. Finally, America spoke. "What does this 'code' thing mean? What is it this guys want?" Wrong question. Yao looked surprised, and even Matt looked up with a confused expression. "What do you mean, aru? They are talking about the Vault of Magic." This was not something either of the imposters had come across in reading the history books.

"Ummm, can you review it for me please?" Yao looked displeased but started speaking, though his voice sounded strained and suspicious. "The Magic Vault is hidden in the woods, where only you, Arthur and I can find it. It holds the magic that keeps our kingdom running smoothly, from making the clocks choose the royals to changing the weather. Only the King knows the code to open the door, and only the queen can use it and actually get inside. If the Chessmen get that magic, Spades will be utterly defenseless if they attack."

America couldn't care less about Spades at the moment. The real reason he sank slowly into the chair was another thing Yao said. "Only the queen can use the code". He stared into the fire. "But that's not Queen Arthur of Spades." Both of the men in the room looked at him, shock written across their faces. Matthew recovered first. "Wh..what do you MEAN, that's not the real queen?" America took a deep breath and looked the two men in the eye and said, "My name is America. I came here from another universe with my friend, England. We ended up in the Rose Maze and there we met Arthur and Alfred. They told us they were the King and Queen and that they wanted to escape for a few weeks before the coronation. We looked exactly like them, spoke like them, and acted like them. They told us that the only way home was to find the spell book in the library that could return us to our dimension, so we agreed to help them for access to the library."

America looked the two men in the eye, refusing to back down from the looks of horror on their faces. "So now you know that I am NOT the King of Spades. I do NOT know the 'codes'. The man who was kidnapped today is NOT the Queen of Spades. He will NOT be able to open that vault." Swallowing, America breathed a sigh of relief. It did feel good to finally tell someone about their secret, but it wasn't such a good thing that the only reason he shared was because the man he loves life was in danger. Yao looked like he was about to hyperventilate while Matt was chewing on his lip, his mind seemingly working at a thousand miles per hour.

"Huh. Well this is... bad." Yao looked at the Canada doppelganger in disbelief. "BAD? People have kidnapped someone they think is the Queen in search of the codes to the Vault, we don't have the real codes, and even if we did, they wouldn't work, AND the real King and Queen have gone AWOL." America rested his chin in his hand and raised a tired eyebrow. "So. Bad." Yao looked around the room to the other men and slumped back in his chair. "Yes. Bad is actually a fair statement, aru." America sat up straighter and leaned on the desk. "So, what's the plan? We have to get England out of there."

Yao shook his head slowly. "We can't. We have no idea where to even start and if we don't have those codes in three days they will kill him aru." America groaned. It was too late for coming up with heroic plans, but his damsel (England would put up quite the fight with that name) was in distress. "Ok. So we can't find him without the codes. Why don't we find the codes?" Matt was shaking his head. "The only one that knows them is Alfred, and you said he and Arthur are hiding." America nodded. "You really have no ideas to where they may have gone? A place no one would look for them?" Both men shook their heads at first, but Matt began staring at the map of Kingdom of Cards on the wall. He scanned everything, eliminating places one by one.

"They would have left Spades as soon as possible because they would be most easily recognized here. Arthur isn't a fan of Diamonds because he finds Francis to be a perv and Vash to be too violent. Though we are currently at peace with Clubs, Alfred had always had his problems with King Ivan and the feeling is mutual sooooo no. They might have gone to Hearts because Queen Kiku and Arthur are rather close, but that Jack, Feliciano, is a talked and would not have been able to keep a secret like that." America was frowning. "You just eliminated everything!" Yao was smiling now. "Not everything aru." He pointed to a small island that America hadn't even noticed before. "They have gone to the Island of the Jokers, the only place that enjoys mischief and mayhem enough to keep the secret that two imposters," He looked pointedly at America, "are on the throne of Spades."

Matt was nodding slowly, putting the pieces together. "We don't have much time. We find the real Alfred, get the codes, and return to the palace. The Chessmen are clever; they will basically kidnap you as well in order to keep you from knowing where Art-England? is. We can give you a tracker so that we can follow you after you are taken. It doesn't solve the problem that England can't open the Vault, but all you have to do is stall until we can come in with the guards and get you two out." America hated the plan. Far too much could go wrong, put England in way too much danger, and from what he'd heard, the Jokers were messed up troublemakers. But it was the only plan that they had time to make, and at least it had a remote chance of working. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes. He missed England with every fiber of his being, and suddenly the previously romantic fairytale was a wretched nightmare.

"Alright. So. To the Island of Jokers we go."

* * *

England remained silent and unmoving, keeping the pretense that he was indeed unconscious. Years of military intelligence told him to assess the situation before making any drastic moves. They were in a carriage, so the chances of escape were higher due to the lack of security. The problem was that his body seemed heavy from the drug used on him earlier, and his arms and legs were both bound. This wouldn't be a huge problem to escape from if he had been left alone. It would take too much movement, and from the looks of the swords sticking out from above him, his escape attempt would not be well received.

No, he would have no choice but to learn as much as possible. He was not the Queen of Spades, but these Chessmen neither knew that or would believe him if he told them. No, he would have to keep pretending. Talk to them, if they wanted that. Stay silent if they didn't. All until he could escape. Or until America came to rescue him. As romantic as that seemed in his head, England knew that the chance for that was... slim. America had good intentions and a big heart, but his heroics didn't always work the way he planned.

England's musings were interrupted by the carriage coming to an abrupt stop. His head hit the floor and he had to bite his lip thru the gag around his mouth to keep from moaning in pain. Why did he take that damn vodka? He should have just frozen to death. At least then he could blame the world and not his own stupidity. Suddenly he felt himself being dragged out of the carriage and thrown over someone's shoulder. Keeping his eyes mostly closed, England saw nothing but the melting snow on the ground and the black jacket the man had on.

They seemed to walk forever, though that might have been England's fuzzy, pain surrounded mind responding to the jerky movements of the merciless Pawn carrying him. They finally reached a warmly lit foyer, where everything was a bright, blaring white on one side and a deep, sinister black on the other . Two huge doors banged as the Brit was taken up half white marble steps covered in a pearly colored carpet, and half obsidian with a deep gray rug. What was with this world and everyone's obsession with one color? Get some damn variety. And the way that everything was directly cut in half was... unsettling to say the least.

More doors were opened at the top of the stairs, and a few moments later England felt himself dropped into a white and black wooden chair. He kept his head lolled to the side, his eyes slightly hooded, but he could see that the room seemed to be split directly down the middle. There was literally a line going thru the center of the room that showed where the marble and obsidian met. The tapestries that he could see were the ones on the black side and they really were not all that entertaining considering it was just different shades of grays and blacks. The chandelier was obsidian and didn't give much light, and two thrones of the deep black rock were positioned there. And the people sitting in them...

The taller throne belonged to a woman, though woman may be stretching it. More like a demon from hell. She had sickly gray skin, long straight black hair, and dark eyes. An obsidian crown glistened from the top of her head. Bundles of black fabric gathered around her feet from around her thin frame, the dark lace that covered her arms not hiding the bones. And the bones... you could see them all. In short, she looked like death. The man that sat in the throne beside her was literally a skeleton. He had no skin on his body, and the lack crown on his head didn't sit well, sliding over the bone and covering the black caverns that should have held eyes. The suit he had on was loose and tattered, and he had no air of power, not like the woman. His bony fingers tapped on the armrest of his throne impatiently.

"Well done my Pawns." The woman's voice was as terrifying as her appearance, beautiful in a scary way. It was deep and commanding, like she knew that no one would ever defy her. She waved a boney (not as toned as that kings, England thought dryly) hand and the two men that had brought England bowed deeply before removing his gag, spinning on their heels and retreating quickly. The doors closed behind them, leaving England alone with whom he could now assume was the King and Queen of the Dark Side of the Chessboard. The crazy really didn't stop.

"Oh dear, is he quite alright?" Well, that was a new voice. It sounded high pitched and girly, laced with worry and care. Not the woman he could see from the way he was looking at the moment. "Oh, I am sure he is fine. As a matter of fact, Queen Arthur of Spades may look like he is unconscious, but I know that he has been awake for awhile now. No need to continue your ruse, your Majesty." The wicked voice was back, and she sneered the title like saying it would bring her the plague. England decided to gain some control of the situation and straightened himself, moving his neck to be rid of the stiffness. "I should have known i couldn't fool you." He really hoped the real Queen knew something about this woman that would permit him to sound so familiar.

Opening his eyes, Egland allowed himself a moment to gawk at the woman he had heard speak a moment ago, the one with the beautiful voice. It was... strange to say the least. She wasn't a supermodel beauty- long blonde hair, winning smile. No her beauty matched that of the Dark Queen. It was beautiful in a grotesque, disturbing way. Her skin was pale white as snow, her curly bouncing locks the same shade. Her cheeks, shoulders, and elbows were pointed and the white dress she wore flowed out in wispy tendrils of thin fabric. A white crown nestled in her curly locks. She too looked like death. Her king matched that of the Dark Queen, a skeleton. The only difference was that his suit was white whereas the other's was black.

"Oh goody, you're awake." The Light Queen clapped her hands and smiled, her pointed teeth basically blinding England. He recovered quickly (he hoped) and smiled smoothly at the royals seated in front of him. "No need to explain why I am here. Your pathetic Pawns blabbered the entire carriage ride." He hadn't really understood a sentence of it, but they didn't need to know that. The Dark Queen laughed, a disturbing chuckle that sent chills down England's spine. "They are not bright, but why you're here was never meant to a secret. My dear Queen Arthur," she smiled and startled England with the pointed obsidian teeth inside her mouth. "We are here for revenge. And you and that pathetic excuse for a King are going to give it to us."


	11. The Electric Moray Eel

**I lied, this took forever. Mi dispiace! I'm not even gonna try and make excuses, all I can say is that it will be taking time now cause school starts tomorrow. :( Anywho, thanks for waiting for me! Hope you like it. **

* * *

The Island of Jokers wasn't hard to reach. Spades was the oceanside kingdom and the island was only a few kilometers from the shore. The only problem was being seen. The Jokers were... odd people. Their loyalty was only to themselves, but Spades had always been the closest thing they could call 'an allie'. Most of the other kingdoms wanted to eradicate the Island; they did cause a lot of problems on the mainland. Anything from robbery, to kidnapping, to just plain random mischief. Nothing they did ever lasted for long- money and people were always returned. But that didn't mean they weren't a nuisance.

So people didn't need to see Spades getting close to the jokers. True, they were close but that was a secret to the other kingdoms. They didn't need to know that if there was a war between the kingdoms, the jokers would stand with Spades if they chose to become involved. Seeing the King, Jack, and Ace journey to Joker wouldn't look innocent. So they travelled in the most secret way they could- underwater.

Spades was good with anything ocean. Long ago they had developed many underwater vehicles that allowed fishermen to go under the sea to gather food. But none of these would be any help in this venture. They were not made for stealth. So when America saw the way they would be getting to the island he had to ask. "If you are so advanced in sea travel, then why are we scuba diving all the way to Joker?"

They were in fact scuba diving the way to the island because it was the stealthiest way they could get there, hiding their existence from both the jokers and the other kingdoms. Stealth had never really been a problem in the past, and Matt pointed this out. "Still. It begs the question; how did Alfred and Arthur get there, aru?" Matt only shrugged as he handed the Jack an oxygen tank and led them down to the water that slapped against the rocky shore. It was still cold outside, but being the early morning of a cloudy day it was considerably warmer than when it had been snowing. That didn't stop America's cry of shock as he jumped into the ocean. "Holy hamburgers, that is COLD." He looked back to see Matthew laughing and Yao shaking his head. Thru chattering teeth he growled, "What's so damn funny?" Yao responded. "You and the king are so similar. No wonder we didn't figure it out aru."

America was a good athlete, so swimming a few kilometers wasn't too big of a deal for him. America was also somewhat of a scaredy cat though, so every movement in the water had him yelping. There was a communication system in the helmets, so Yao and Matthew heard everything he had to say. "AH! WHAT WAS THAT?" Matthew would turn around sigh, answering, "That is a piece of seaweed, America." "Ok, what the hell was that?" "Driftwood. That was driftwood." And so it became a case of the boy who cried wolf. And it ended very much the same way that story did.

They had been travelling for about two hours and Yao told them the were close. America was swimming along, enjoying the coral reef he could just barely see in the light of his flashlight and trying to forget the moving thing in his peripheral vision. Finally he could bare it no more and moved his head to the right slightly, hoping to confirm what Matt would say if he mentioned it; driftwood, seaweed, some kind of exotic, harmless fish. So it both satisfied and terrified him when his eyes met those of a three meter eel with teeth of a piranha. He slowly sank to the ridge of the reef to steady himself. "Uh. Guys. What is that?" Matthew sighed heavily and Yao rolled his eyes, both not even bothering to turn around. "America. There is nothing there. Your mind is playing tricks on you in the dark like it has been all night." America swallowed heavily and whispered, "I would really appreciate if you would look this time."

Matthew had sighed and kept swimming slowly, continuing to ramble about how he shouldn't scare himself, but Yao decided that the tone is the man's voice had disturbed him enough to look and see what had him so on edge. Of course, the Jack had immediately stopped swimming as he looked at the creature circling a barely breathing America. Visibly shaking, Yao cleared his throat and answered. "That. That is a fully grown adult flesh eating moray electric eel. It is native to the deep waters of Spades, and I have heard it is a delicacy in Joker." His light comment did little to lift the mood. Matthew had stopped speaking and Yao could see the look of dread as he slowly turned to see the danger. He bit his lip. "Well shit."

America was staring at the scaly body that inching closer to his large frame. "So. What are we going to do about it?" He surprised even himself by how steady his statement came out. "Yao, anything we got that can fight a full grown moray electric?" Matt asked frantically. America didn't know much about eels, but he was pretty sure that a mix of a moray AND electric was very very bad. It didn't help that Yao was shaking his head. "We didn't really, you know. Anticipate this aru." All three men breathed deeply. "Then I'll try to swim out of it." Matt looked horrified and Yao looked about ready to strangle someone. "NO. It will kill you if you so much as shift your footing." America pursed his lips and glared at the China look alike. "Well, perfect. We are going to run out of oxygen soon, you didn't factor in this apparently well known eels into your scuba diving plan, and there's nothing we can use to fight or escape it. This is perfect, really."

They stood in silence for a moment. Yao finally spoke. "If we can get it to leave you and follow use, then we could make it. I told you aru, we only have about thirty meters until the water is too shallow for this creature. You sneak away while it chases us and all we have to do is out swim it." Yao chose not to say that the chances of out swimming an adult eel of this hybrid species were not particularly in their favor. They would try anyway. "Matt, on my count of three we swim towards shore, moving and thrashing as much as we can. Shine the light at it and try to lure it away. Ready aru?" America barely contained a shriek as a shock of electricity streaked thru the eel. Matthew nodded, though the look on his face said that he was anything but ready. "One. Two." The two natives of Spades faced away from America and turned their flashlights towards the eel. "Three!"

They flashed the lights on and hit the circling animal directly in its overly sensitive eyes, causing it to jerk back and almost hit America. It hissed at the directing to light was coming from and bared it razor sharp teeth that didn't seem to fit in it's mouth. Yao and Matt were swimming slowly, making as much disturbance as possible. The eel slowly removed itself from it's place centimeters from America's body, and speedily slid thru the water towards the ruckus. The moment it was no longer a threat, America breathed a sigh of relief and started following the eel and his companions.

Yao and Matt knew a lot of things about Spades. Matthew knew how every person in the army fought, the best ways to use their skills, and who to trust with what. Yao knew the people in the palace, how they behaved, what they did. Together they knew enough to keep the kingdom running. What they didn't know was the bottom of the Spades' sea. They had gotten turned around in the desperate flee from the eel and had no idea what they were doing now. Simply swimming in a direction didn't seem like the best of plans, but it was all they had. Moving towards the surface, they splashed in the water, trying to get as far from the creature as possible.

America tried to help, but underwater creatures had never been an interest of his. Not that it would ever be now. There was no way in hell he was even going surfing anymore. He swims after the eel but can't keep up. "Yao, Matt, can you hear me?" "Yes aru." Yao's voice sounded breathless. "But we are running out of steam." This time it was Matthew. "This thing is way too fast. We need he- ahhh!" The sound of static filled the American's ears. "Matt? Yao? Guys! Where are you?" No response from either of them. At first, America as terrified that the eel had caught up. But that didn't make sense; they would be screaming more than just a gasp of surprise.

Slowly, he made his way towards the surface, hoping they were ok. What the hell was he going to do if they.. don't even think about it. Suddenly he sees light, supposedly from the sun. Had they really been down there that long? How were they not out of air yet? Suddenly he felt something pull on the back of his suit. Panicking, America lashed out, only to find himself tangled in a thin wire. Then he was zipping thru the water towards the surface, pulled by the wire like a fish on a hook.

* * *

England leaned against the cell wall. As far as cells went, this one was rather cozy. It was half white, half black, and had a bed, a separate bathroom, and wasn't too small. The only thing it didn't have was a door or a window. A few hours ago, the Brit had woken up in the room with no idea how he had gotten in there. There was no way he could escape. It was like the room had been built around him, even though common sense told him that was impossible. Sighing, England thought back on the conversation he had with the creepy queens.

_"A fault? That's what this is for?" The white queen had laughed while her sister scowled. "Not A vault, your majesty. THE vault. The magic of Spades, all locked up in one place in the middle of nowhere." The dark queen took over. "You and the rest of those stupid Card Kingdoms ruined us, forcing us to the outskirts of the land to forage and scavenge." England couldn't help but roll his eyes. They were so DRAMATIC. Unfortunately, this didn't go unnoticed by the queen._

_"Do not mock us, Arthur. You will not be feeling quite so high and mighty when your beloved king brings that code and you have to open the vault that holds all your power." England raised an eyebrow. "Can I ask why you are targeting Spades?" It seemed like a valid question and the queens thought so too. "We will be targeting them all once we have the power. Spades just happens to have the weakest government right now, what with you and Alfred not being on the throne yet." "Aren't you worried that Alfred won't know the code, or that he won't come for me?" England himself was worried about these questions, but he didn't need to let them know that._

_"Of course not, silly!" The light queen was giggling. "Everyone knows that there's nothing in the world that would stop that airheaded fiance of yours from rescuing you!" England smiled slightly. Even if they were talking about the real Spade's heirs, it was still nice to hear them say that he would come. "Anyway, you are a prisoner here now, for as long as it takes. It won't take long though because we have already warned him that every day he takes is a day of pain for you. Don't even attempt escaping, it's completely impossible."_

This was the last thing he heard from his kidnappers, eventually waking up in the cell with no door. He was resting on the bed trying to devise a plan. He hadn't been able to see the way into the room and had no idea what awaited outside the walls he was imprisoned in. Truth be told, he was worried. very worried. The British Empire had always been good at escaping, but this time it looked like there was no hope. A moment later, one of the white walls began to shift, eventually expanding to reveal a door way that hadn't been there moments before. "Neat trick, right?" The light queen was smiling thru the door. "My dearest sister and I can bend this particular matter, a compound made by the Chessmen, with just our minds." Well, that answered how he had gotten in here.

"Can I help you?" England acted like he hadn't heard word she had said, opting to lift his chin and roll his eyes. The woman simply laughed and shook her head stepping out of the way to let two very large men enter the room, one in black and one in white. "No your Highness. I'm afraid you can't help me. Or yourself for that matter." England eyed the two newcomers warily. "These fine Pawns are here to make good on our promise to dear King Alfred. Don't worry. Because this is your first day, it won't hurt too much." England fell to the ground as a blunt object hit him.

He felt the men lift him from the floor and carry him out of the cell. If his head hadn't been throbbing he would have been trying to memorize the twists and turns of the hallway, but it was all he could do to stay awake. All he could tell was that they were going downstairs. A lot of stairs. The light queen was skipping in front of him, humming an unknown tune. Originally he thought she was better than the dark chess woman, but now he realized she was just as, if not more, creepy than her sister.

Eventually he was dropped into a chair, his legs, arms, and neck tied down. He saw the smiling white queen and her dark twin sitting in two thrones facing him. "Hello again Arthur. It really is a pleasure." Man, did that woman look like a vampire. His head tried to loll forward, but the rope around his neck stopped him. He also couldn't speak, so even though a million sarcastic remarks ran thru his mind, he was unable to say any of them. The room was gray for once, a mix of the two standard colors. It was far too bright for his pounding head and he could hear water running behind him.

The dark queen smiled. "Don't bother asking why we are doing this. No reason at all. We just really hate you, and everything you stand for." She rolled her eyes. "Equality. Fairness. Pathetic. No, we have no reason to do this than pure hate." She grinned, showing all of her teeth. "I hope you like water, your majesty." Her sister giggled as the first gallon of water was dumped on England's head, leaving him spluttering and searching for air. Moments later another gallon followed the first, then another, and another, until England's lungs were screaming for air. He may have been sitting in a chair in a dungeon, but it really felt like he was drowning.

* * *

America was, quite frankly, surprised he was still alive. He was staring at the star filled sky, breathing heavily. His helmet had been removed and he could see Matthew and Yao kneeling next to him, looking shaken but fine. "America, are you alright aru?" Still taking shaky breaths, he sat up and looked around. "Yeah. Yeah I'm alright. What... what happened?" He looked behind the two men from the palace to see a smiling blonde boy, grinning like an idiot. He looked vaguely familiar... Sealand?" "Hiya! I'm Peter, one of the royal officials in the Joker kingdom." Damn, he looked young to sound so important. "I was out fishing for electric moray eel, and I end up reeling in three members of Spades. And royalty no less! Gilbert will certainly be interested in talking to you."

America stared at the young man, who moved to the back of the boat they were on? He had a million questions, but only one forced it's way onto his tongue. "You were fishing for those oceanic creatures of death?!" Matthew and Yao both laughed, probably because they were safe from death. Peter smiled and winked as he revved the engine and started towards a nearby shore. "They are a delicacy in Joker you know." All three of them laughed now. "Hahaha you're joking." Petere just stared ahead and America became wary. "You ARE joking. Right?"

As they sailed, they told Peter everything. How they were looking for the real King and Queen, how the imposter had been kidnapped, and what they were doing to get there. Peter simply kept nodding thru the whole thing, like he already knew. When asked about this he simply shrugged and pulled up to the dock. "The Jokers know everything." They all got off the boat and walked down the pier. "President Gilbert may help you with your problem. Or he may not. I'm just an advisor, so no promises. Besides, we are jokers. When do we ever do the right thing?" He smiled sweetly and skipped up the street, motioning for them to follow.

Joker was beautiful. It was every color of the rainbow, and even in the very early morning light, it was amazing. People weren't out and about yet, but it certainly seemed like it would be a lively place once they awoke. The streets meandered lazily up a hill to a large house on a hill. The building was white with a blue roof, surrounded by a green lawn, a red fence, and a million flowers of every color. Peter skipped straight up to the gates, which opened before him. The three men were skeptical, but decided that their best chance of finding the royals, if they were indeed on Joker, was thru the President and his helper Peter. It also helped America that he recognized the boy, adding to his trust.

The doors to the house opened and a large marble staircase led upward towards a vaulted ceiling and pink crystal chandelier. At the top was a man that made America's heart both soar and plumet. His white hair was messy his red eyes were glowing and his familiar smirk was on his face. "Hello there America. Jack Yao. Ace Matthew. It's a pleasure." The Prussia look alike smiled and leaned on the rail, a thin gold crown resting sideways on his head. "Welcome to the Island of the Jokers."


	12. Water Torture and Gilbird

**Heyyyy long time no see! Hehe... sorry? School doth be a pain in the rear. But I didn't forget about this story. This is like the chapter before shit hits the fan. Fights shall ensue, poor efforts at stalling will be made, and references to other things shall happen. There is a reference in this chapter to Night at the Museum 2 and the Wedding Singer, just to tell ya, but it's unimportant. Kudos to you if you get them. There are also two of my favorite blurbs in here- 'It's a party' and 'Our struggle is real'. I get so off topic soooo easily. Anyway. There will probably be like two more chapters here. So without any further ado I present to you- Chapter that sets up climax of story!**

* * *

England was shivering. It wasn't cold in the room, and he had more than enough blankets, but he simply couldn't stop shivering. Three hours he had been sitting in that chair, drowning. So much water. Bucket after bucket of freezing water had been dumped on his head, suffocating him. It wasn't from cold that now shook his body. It wasn't from the chilled water, or the freezing room from only moments ago. It was fear.

It took a lot to scare the British Nation, but he was terrified. He had suffered torture before, but this time had been different. Cruller. Knowing that he was in a foreign place, with no one there to help him or return to. In the end it was only the thought of America that had kept him from screaming, that had kept him sane. After the years at sea as a pirate, he had always harbored a slight fear of drowning. Who wouldn't, after clashing with death so many times in the unforgiving ocean. But the thought of never seeing that smiling idiot again, of losing what he had sought for so long. It pissed the Brit off.

How dare these people take away everything he had worked for? And for what? Something he didn't even have. This wasn't his fight and he had been unfairly thrown into it. But whether or not he wanted to be there, it was his fight now. So the small but deadly nation fought. He fought in the only way possible at the moment. By not giving in.

True, he was still sane. But that didn't compensate for the fact that he was dripping wet and terrified to the bone. How many more times would he be forced to withstand this torture? Would America be able to rescue him or figure out how to unlock this magic vault? England was beyond the point of being able to escape. There was nowhere to go if he did, and he doubted any kind samaritan in the area would be helpful. Those queens and undead husbands were just too scary to disobey. So he waited.

The hole in the wall opened again, letting the British man know that another round of random torture was coming soon. He groaned and laid his head on the mattress, hoping they would think he was too sick to hurt any more. But they didn't buy it and moments later England was being dragged down the stone steps to where another extended period of torture and horror awaited him.

* * *

"King Gilbert. A pleasure to meet you." Matthew bowed deeply while America continued to gape. Gilbert nodded. "It certainly is a pleasure to meet the awesome me. Yao, you're looking... uptight as usual." Yao scowled, but bowed to the king of Jokers. "Nice to see you haven't changed, Gilbert aru." Gilbert thru his head back and laughed and sat on the railing and rode the banister down to the floor. Peter giggled at the king's antics while Matt tried to hide a smile and Yao scowled deeply. Gilbert bounced over to America and bowed deeply, smirking.

"Your MAJESTY. Such an honor to meet the man that played the part of the idiot king of Spades for... over a week. I was impressed. I didn't think anyone could be on the same level as Alfred, at least not enough to convince anyone." His teeth were showing as he stared deeply into America's eyes. America scowled. "I'm going to assume that was an insult and choose to ignore it." Gilbert laughed again, walking down the hall and gesturing for the men to follow. "You aren't a king here America. Though I assume you are looking for the real king and queen." He spun on his heels, his smile gone and a face of confusion. "Which begs the question, where is this 'England' I have heard so much about. He should be here as well."

America looked down and Matthew grimaced. Yao was the one to answer. "That is why we are here aru. The 'queen' has been kidnapped and the ransom... can't be gotten from two imposters." I possible, Gilbert had gotten even more pale. "Chess?" Yao nodded. "Damn. I assume they will attack if you don't pay up?" Matthew shrugged. "Not sure, but we have a plan. Sorta. But we need Alfred and Arthur to do it." Gilbert smiled brightly again at the news that there was a plan to be executed. "Well, come along then! Let's get you to the royal runaways!"

* * *

"No news from the king or jack?" "I don't know, I'm not in the magic loop of information!" England listened under the guise of sleep to the conversation of his guards, right thru the thin wall. "Look, I don't know nothing. I'm not payed to spy on the queens. That's a goddamn death wish." "I understand that, but someone has to know something." Another man walked over to them, his boots hitting the floor heavily. "Shut up you idiots. There's no gossip because nothing has happened. As a matter of fact, the king, jack and ace disappeared and no one knows where they went. The queens are furious that they are being ignored."

"Dammit! When the queens are angry, they always seem to take it out on us!" The third man laughed again, seeming to enjoy knowing more than the other two. "Nope. They're gonna take it out on our guest. They want to show that idiot of a king what happens when their threats are taken lightly." England closed his eyes and chose not to listen anymore. It wasn't worth it, hearing this. Better to be left in blissful ignorance. He turned over to face the blank white wall, covering his ears. But his mind was racing with the knowledge he now had.

Where were America, Yao and Matthew? Disappeared? Were they looking for him? No, surely Chess would notice if they had crossed the border. And more torture... could he deal with it? Here, England was not a country. He was a man, not any stronger than any other man. There was no way he could deal with torture forever like the country 'England' could. How much longer? How much more?

* * *

Alfred and Arthur were lying on two beach chairs by a huge indoor pool. The roof was glass, so sun pounded thru it like they were outside. Alfred was relaxed with his arms behind his head, sunglasses on and wearing only swim trunks. Beside him sat Arthur, under an umbrella. He too was wearing swimwear, but it included a tshirt. He was not stretched out, but was sitting straight up, reading a book. His hair was messy, but not wet, while Alfred's looked like he had just gotten out of the water. There wasn't a single soul there besides them.

America had forgotten the fact that they looked exactly like the royals. The first thing he felt was dejá vu when he looked at the king. Like looking in a mirror. Then he felt pain at the sight of Arthur. He looked, sat, and acted like the aloof British man he had fallen head over heels for. To think that these two... idiots were the reason England had been kidnapped, possibly tortured... It was hard not to attack them, even if they did look exactly like themselves.

"Yo, Spades boys. You got company." Alfred sat up and turned, smiling until he saw who it was. "Dammit. You found us." He was pouting now, and Arthur was smiling softly. "Not bad Yao. Didn't even take you all that long." Yao crossed his arms and scowled, but it was forced. America could tell he was happy to see the real King and Queen.

"You two have no idea what you have put us thru, aru! Running away. Hiding on JOKER. Making two random people replace you!" Alfred was smiling again, enjoying what Yao said. Arthur on the other hand was biting his lip, setting the book down. "We apologize, Yao. Things have been so very hectic and-" "ENGLAND HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED." America blurted this out, tired of the meaningless conversation from before. True all of the things Yao had mentioned had caused problems, but this one was seriously the elephant in the room.

Arthur and Alfred stared at them with blank expressions. "... What?" "Define kidnapped, cause I don't think we are on the same page here." America answered, "Winter, bar, bad men, knock out, poof." Everyone looked at him in silence. "Did anyone just understand that?" Alfred put his head in his hands and was nodding. "Of course I did, it's what I would have said." Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "They really are the same person, aren't they? Wanna explain for us who didn't quite catch on?"

"They were at The Winter Festival, England ended up in a bar," Arthur winced, knowing all too well that he had alcohol don't mix. "And someone knocked him out and kidnapped him." America nodded. "He got it. I don't know why no one else gets it. I was pretty straightforward." Alfred nodded. "Our struggle is real." "BACK ON SUBJECT ARU." Everyone winced at Yao's outburst, but it had the desired effect. "So who took him and what do they want?"

Matt, Yao, Gilbert and America bit their lips and were suddenly down. Arthur figured it out right away and groaned, moving to sit next to Alfred, setting his head on the king's shoulder. "Tell me it's not who I think it is. Please, tell me I'm wrong." Matthew sighed. "No, I'm pretty sure you're on the right track." Alfred looked at Matthew, then down at Arthur, whose face was contorted in pain. "What? Who is it?" America frowned. Was he really this oblivious? "The Chessmen."

Alfred's face looked like a shadow had passed over it. The moment he heard who it was, the gravity of the situation finally hit home. The Chessmen thought they had the Queen of Spades. Besides killing him, there was only one other thing they would need him for. "Are they after the Vault?" All joking gone, Alfred was all business. Arthur looked up, a new look of horror on his face. "Oh no, that's not going to be possible! England can't-" Gilbert had sunk into a chair. "Your replacement can't open the Vault, even if Alfred gives them the combination. It's not possible. Shit, this is bad. In all honesty, I don't care about this England guy. Never met him, don't really plan to. But if the Chessmen don't get what they want and aren't stopped, they will kill Alfred and Arthur and probably Yao cause they can, leaving Spades without leadership. As king of Joker, I kinda need my closest ally to have some order..."

Yao was staring intently at the king while Matt tried to stop America from attack him over the 'I don't care about England' comment. "Are you willing to help aru? We have a plan that may, MAY, work. But we need Joker for it to work." Gilbert looked thoughtfully at the water. "I can only help if t is in total secrecy. No one can know we are working together on this." Arthur nodded, suddenly returning to his role as queen. "Of course. We will do everything in our power to protect your people and keep your involvement with this operation completely silent." Alfred stopped everyone with a wave of his hand.

"Hold on. Before we agree to anything with anyone, can you share your genius idea with us. Because if it involves using Arthur for anything, it's not happening." Arthur frowned. "There is a man's life at stake-" "And I won't have your life at stake as well. I have no problem helping this guy, but he isn't the actual queen." America was about to beat the crap out of this king, until he realized that he would be doing the same thing if England were here and Arthur was gone. Of course he would. Alfred and him were almost the same person. And, judging from Arthur's reaction, so were he and England. "I don't need protecting, git. And what makes it ok for you to go in and save them while I sit from behind a locked door and hope nothing goes wrong? If you won't let me go, then you sure as hell aren't either."

Matthew was chuckling softly. "Neither of you have to do anything then show up and fight." Arthur frowned. "You know where they are?" "No, they are taking America and we are sending a tracker with him. Then we follow that while America keeps them busy." Alfred stood and protested immediately. "We can't ask him to do that, he and England have already done way more than enough. they shouldn't even be here!" America rolled his eyes. "It's cool. I plan to save England and there is nothing you can do to stop me. I'm going to hunt these bastards down one way or another, so either you can help or you can enjoy a bit more relaxation on the beach."

Arthur pulled Alfred back down. "And there's no way you're going out there. Cause then I will hunt YOU down." His eyes narrowed dangerously and Alfred gulped and spoke in a slightly shaky voice. "Yeah. yeah, good plan." Yao smiled slightly and looked over at the albino king. "So about that help..."

* * *

England woke to the sound of the dark queen speaking. "Today is what it said. He will be at the center of that blasted rose maze, completely alone. We will knock him out and take him to the Vault, where you will be waiting with our guest." The light queen giggled, sending chills up England's spine. "Yup! Let's hope he doesn't try to cross us, or I will be very pleased to get the chance to behead a royal!" Such lovely girls those two were. The hole in the wall opened, revealing the women whose voices were the ones England had heard.

"Well hello there, your Majesty. Have you enjoyed your stay in Chess?" England felt awful, barely able to open his eyes, let alone roll them. But his tongue and unchecked sarcasm still worked. "Oh it was lovely, thank you. It's been a real party, though the whole 'no door in the rooms' thing was a bit odd. All in all, I'd give you a three and a half stars out of five." The light queen pouted. "Only three and a half?" England responded, "The torture thing certainly put a damper on the vacation." The dark queen laughed her menacing laugh and moved over to the false queen.

"Glad to see you still have your infamous sarcasm. Means you are the real queen." England inwardly slapped his forehead. They had no idea how wrong they were. "Unfortunately your vacation has come to an end." She motioned for the guards to grab him. "We are going to the Magic Vault of Spades to await your precious king, where you and he will give us what is do, and we will have our revenge." England bit his lip as his hair was yanked up to look the queen in the eye.

"If I had to think of two words for you they would be delusional and weirdo." The light queen giggled again, drawing England to look at her. "And you, goofy. Just goofy." A club was lowered onto his head, knocking the Briton unconscious immediately. He was dragged from his prison, up the multicolored steps and into the foyer, out into the dry thunderstorms that always plagued Chess. No rain, just lightning and thunder with endless humidity.

While the four card kingdoms, the weather went in cycles of four, one type of weather in each kingdom at a time. That didn't apply to Chess. No, they were a barren wasteland on the borders, completely stranded from the rest of the world. The queens got into their respective coaches, England being placed into a separate one guarded by several pawns and a few bishops. The deadly caravan then started on their journey to Spades.

* * *

"A bird? That's as high tech as you guys are? The tracker is a BIRD?" Gilbert frowned as he scratched the little yellow bird's head fondly. "Don't insult Gilbird. He's awesome, just like me." Yao interrupted. "Gilbird is the only tracker we have aru. What were you expecting." America clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. "I don't know, like a GPS or a cell phone?" Everyone stared at him in confusion. "What is a 'cell phone'?" Arthur asked. America looked at them and started motioning with his hands. "It's like a device where you can talk to people far away from you and play games and find things out about the world. It's like a chunk of plastic that connects you with other people even if they're like super far away."

America stopped and looked thoughtful. "Actually, when you end up having to explain what that is to someone, it does kinda sound crazy." Alfred looked ready to comment but Yao stepped in. "Look aru, this is what we in Spades have got." Gilbert nodded happily. "Gilbird is brilliant. He'll follow you until he recognizes England from seeing Arthur here. Then he'll come back to me and we just follow the exact path he took the first time." America was impressed, considering how behind on technology these people were.

Two hours later, after much preparation, everyone was back on Peter's boat, zipping towards Spades. It wasn't uncommon to see a Joker fisherman at Spades to dock for awhile. It was late at night and the passengers scrambled on land, waving as Peter shot back to Joker. They made their way thru the silent streets to Spades castle, where they started preparing for the next day. The first thing Yao did was send a note on a carrier pigeon to Chess, tying a white cloth of surrender to it, telling them they would comply to their commands and that America would be waiting for them in the center of the rose maze.

Alfred came over to speak with America while Arthur was busy with Yao. "Thank you for everything you have done. It was never meant to get this out of hand..." America gave him a tired smile. "It's ok. Just promise you and your army here will show up fast, alright?" Alfred smirked, again making America think he was looking in a mirror. "Let's go save a fake queen."

* * *

The next morning was cloudy. The three days were up and the Chessmen were coming. America sat alone in the center of the maze, while Gilbird circled overhead. Yao and Matthew sat in the palace, hoping for the best while Arthur, Alfred, and Gilbert waited in the dungeons so no one would see more than one King Alfred or think that Arthur had escaped. America's mind was whirling, but none of his thoughts were about himself. England was out there somewhere, being held captive for something he couldn't give his captors.

America knew the codes. It was officially the stupidest combination in this or any other universe had ever heard of. 5. When Alfred had told him, in complete secrecy, America hadn't believed him. HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE? Alfred pointed out that it was so simple that no one would ever guess it. It didn't change the fact that it was beyond dumb. At least America would remember it...

Not that having the codes would do jack shit. England still couldn't open the Vault. But America had ideas, time wasters. He was determined to keep these people talking, stall for as long as he possibly could to give Spades and Joker time to find them. England... was he hurt? Was he even going to be alive, or was this one of those empty promise type kidnappings, where the victim was already dead? No use thinking like that of course, but that didn't stop him.

He didn't hear the rustling behind him until it was too late. The American spun to face whatever lay behind him, but was hit over the head before he could see them. Sinking to the floor, America could just make out a black chiffon skirt walking towards him. Then the world went cold, silent, and dark.


	13. The Box of X?

**OMG it didn't even take me that long to write this one. Mk, so this is not the last chapter. There is one more that is an actual chapter and possibly a smut filled epilogue if anyone be interested. Idk. Just saying. So I was going thru my old chapters. I. Am. So. Sorry. The grammer and spelling is atrocious. I DON'T HAVE A BETA FOR THIS STORY. My usual beta has been very busy cause wehave been writing all those colaborative stories and she has her own... no. Too much to do. Anyway. If ya'll wanna beta for me sometime do tell me. So. Enjoy this magical chapter. I apologize in advance for the crap fight scene. I can't like. Do fight detail. So. Yeah. Hope it was semi worth the wait. :/ LOVE YOU ALL **

* * *

Gilbird soared thru the sky, above the expanse of trees, straight to the heart of the Spade's forest. He was a small bird, and not used to flying nonstop for so long. Even birds as awesome as Gilbird could get tired. Or at least that's what the King of Joker thought... Anyway, it was no surprise then that the little creature was very pleased when the black chariot that seemed to blend with the shadows stopped and a scary woman and a skeleton man appeared from inside, and two dark knights dragging an unconscious man with dark blonde hair with them. The bird sat in a tree, awaiting the sign to return to his albino master, the sight of the bleach blonde green eyed man.

"Where is that idiot sister of mine? She was supposed to be here before us!" No response came from the Dark King of Chess but a low hiss, like steam escaping. The queen understood anyway. "Yes yes, I know we must be patient. We can not lose what we have tried to get for so long just because I am impatient. We shall wait, but if that girl ends up too late, I will-"

"Hey sis! I brought our little friend!" The sweet voice of the light queen wafted into the clearing. A carriage of light, that only appeared in the shadows strewn about the ground, rolled up. Out stepped out the white haired queen followed by two white knights and a conscious blonde man with bright green eyes. The Queen of Spades, Arthur Kirkland, was forced to his knees, a gag in his mouth and his eyes blazing with contempt. The contempt immediately changed to concern at the sight of Alfred laying on the ground only a few meters away.

England, for it was he, strained on the chains that kept his arms behind his back and were held by those blasted knights. It was official- England would never play chess again when he got home. If he got home. He couldn't tell yet if the man behind the dark queen was Alfred or America. He wanted it to be America, here to rescue him (though he would never tell him that) but he also hoped it to be Alfred, here to control a situation that he at least understood.

Then the man groaned and pushed himself up. His hands were not bound, but the two knights were pointing long spears at him. Alfred and America were identical in every sense of the word. But when his eyes met England's the British Empire knew that this was his hero, the country from home. A sense of relief burst thru him, but it didn't last. Now they were both in a bad situation. He narrowed his eyes towards the American. You have a plan I hope?

America's head hurt, but every thought of pain fled his mind at the sight of the Briton. True, he looked horrible. And the thought that he had been tortured sent shots of hate towards their captors thru his body. But the relief of seeing his beloved England again outweighed everything else. He was alive. They could work with that. He saw the silent question and smirked slightly. I am the hero, aren't I? He smiled softly as England rolled his eyes at the answer.

"So the young King has decided to join us? How wonderful." America looked over at the woman who had kidnapped England with a look of disgust and pure detestation. "Yeah, the party can start now." No one noticed a soft rustling in the tree above them and the tiny yellow bird that made its way back to Spades castle. "You think yourself so high and mighty, don't you Jones." America smiled. "I prefer 'Your Majesty' or 'Your Royal Highness'. I don't care which one you pick. I'll leave that one up to you." America fell to his side as a black cane of ebony came out of nowhere and struck him.

England tried to yell out as he watched the American fall down, but if was muffled by the gag. " I do think we have kept the love birds apart long enough. Release him but keep close eyes." The light queen motioned for her knights to unchain England, and they did. The chains hadn't hit the ground before England was running slash limping across the clearing and kneeled down. "Amerrrrrr Alfred!" America rolled over into England's arms, laughing slightly at his almost slip up. "Didn't even hurt." England scowled and slapped his arms lightly, only to be pulled down for a chaste kiss. "Don't worry," he whispered, "The cavalry is on the way."

"See, if you just give us what we want, you two can be lovey dovey all the livelong day." America glared at the light queen and started checking England for wounds. There were a lot. "Good god what did they do to you?" This was again said quietly, and England took his hand and placed it on his cheek, leaning into the touch. "I'm fine love. All the better that you're here of course." He rolled his eyes and the huge smiled the America gave him. "Don't let that go to your head now."

"So Alfred. Are you prepared to give us the codes." England was grabbed by the collar and pulled him back, a strangled gasp leaving his lips as he reached desperately for America. "Yes. It's not like we have a plan to escape. Like duplicates of ourselves waiting for a signal from a messenger bird to ride into the woods to rescue us. Geez, what would give you that idea?" England stared at him blankly while the light queen giggled. "That's ridiculous. If you do have a plan, not only will it not work, it would also be less silly!" The dark queen rolled her eyes and said, "He's simply trying to waste time. Take the good queen over to the vault."

England was dragged over to what seemed to be... a cave maybe? It was shrouded with huge trees and vines, but it didn't take all that long to remove them. America spoke up. "How did you do it? No one can find the vault without searching for it until he king and queen are crowned, when they are taken there either by the living past royals or by their spirits." Yao had briefed him on everything he may need to he was glad he wasn't the king. The idea of being led by someone's spirit was not his favorite. "Yes. Well, we couldn't wait for their to be stable government in Spades, so we simply had our devilish little pawns scour the entire forest until they found it."

"Clever, but I'm sure many of these pawns didn't make it back. There certainly are a lot of traps, animals, and natural dangers in this neck of the woods." England knew America was winging most of this. Buying time. That was the only time he was ever serious; when his knack for beating around the bush actually came in handy. The light queen rolled her eyes and pretended to faint. "You have no IDEA! We had to create more of those little losers every day because of your stupid forest! I don't really care about them. The problem was constantly having to replace them." America looked bored. "Oh. I am so terribly sorry we made your life so difficult."

"Shut up you moron. He's wasting time again." The dark queen grabbed England and pulled him towards the huge boulder in front of the cave, blocking entry. She started chanting in a language that neither of the countries knew, until the rock started to show carvings. Ancient runes, what looked to be a set of numbers and a large spade decorated the rock by the time the woman was done. She gestured at her sister, who giggled and pulled out a dagger. "Woah, woah, woah, WOAH! What are you planning here?" She just continued to laugh as she grabbed England's hand and dragged the knife across his palm.

He cried out, more in surprise than pain, but America still growled and made to move towards the Brit, a look of pure hate in his eyes. He was quickly stopped by the knights at his side. He looked at England, only to see him give a small smile and a look that said, Is this part of the plan? America forced a smile onto his face. You doubt me? England grimaced, earning the childish reaction of the American's tongue sticking out at him. Still his America at least.

"Alright Jones. What's the code? Tell us, or he will be bleeding from more than his hand." England's hand was pressed to the rock, the blood soaking into the cracks. 'I really hope that blood isn't supposed to be doing anything or the jig is already up,' the American thought to himself. The two queens and their kings didn't seem to think anything was amiss though, so maybe they were safe for a while longer. "I don't know. If you kill him then there is absolutely no way you'll ever open that hole in the wall. What makes you so sure you can threaten me by saying you will kill him?"

"Stalling again, are we? I'll indulge you. The queen here already knows that we will do this to every one of these precious kingdoms until we get someone's magic, or we will kill the royals while we are there. We chose your lovely seaside kingdom first because it was you that brought those blasted Jokers into the fight, which was the final upset. Without their help we would have won the war. So, King Alfred of Spades, you can either give us the magic and live with you queen to fight another day, or you can die here with him and know that you have done nothing but slow us down."

America didn't like this. Not the speech, no actually that was a great time waster. The problem was that it kinda ended any chance he had of stalling longer. What could he say in response? She looked pretty damn serious, and he couldn't risk England's life by pushing her. "Now, tell me the code!"

America stared at the ground, finally looking up to her flaming obsidian eyes. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5." Everyone looked at him like he was an idiot. Even England looked ready to kill him. "You... you... you expect me to believe that RUBBISH!" The dark queen almost lunged at him, but held herself back. America shrugged. "I didn't come up with it. I'm dead serious." England had put a poker face on, but inside he was screaming. It was a great thing that these people were idiots. They were sure to have guessed that one if they had really thought about it. "I don't really mind letting you have the vault. It's not the greatest power in the kingdom anyway."

The light queen had been about to force England to press the numbers, but all heads snapped back to America. Oh lord, what was the Yank doing? He shrugged, looking passive. "I don't know, maybe it's just me. I'd much prefer the power of the... box." America winced slightly. He was improvising now, but this was his best shot. Fortunately, the queens were immediately interested. "Box? What box?" Even England looked desperate to know. "You know... the box of.. X. The X Box."

England slammed his head into the boulder and moaned. That. Idiot. That was the best he could come up with? The queens took it as a sign of defeat. "Tell us more about this box!" America couldn't believe they were buying this. "Umm, uhh. It's a box and it... has magical powers. It can make you an assassin, or a healer, or a soldier. Anything really." Oh god, where was he going with this?

The light queen grabbed his shoulders and shook them. "And you can get us this magical 'XBox'?" England groaned again, this time directed at the women's complete idiocy. He looked at America, who just shrugged. Obviously this was not part of the original plan but hey. Whatever worked. And with that the most welcome sound ever to be heard reached them. "Yo bitches! Miss me?"

Gilbert swung into the clearing and pointed a sword at the women. America smiled sweetly. "Ladies, I'm sure you remember King Gilbert of Joker?" England was sitting by the vaut now, completely unattended. "Seriously? Prussia?" He looked at America in disbelief, who just shook his head. "I don't, I don't know." "YOU! BUT HOW? How could you possibly have found us!?" The dark queen was livid while the light queen had already raised her hands above her head. "A little birdy told me." the Prussian look a like winked and America rolled his eyes at the horrible joke.

"So this is where the vault is? Interesting." Matt and Yao stepped into the clearing, causing the white queen to fall to the ground while her sister wailed. "NO! NO! You can't have had a rescue plan, there was no way they could get here without a guide!" They both shrugged and nodded at the two imitation royals. "America. England." The light queen frowned, the only one really hearing what the two Spadish men had just said while her sister spiraled into insanity in the corner. "What did you call them?"

"Well. If it isn't the dear Queens of Chess. Really ladies, if you wanted to see our devilishly handsome faces again, you should have just swung by for a visit." Both women spun around to see Alfred hanging from the vault rock upside down, his dark blonde hair blowing in the breeze and a goofy smile on his face. "Alfred dear, do sit up. You look like a child." Arthur was lounging on the rock, legs crossed and back straight as an arrow. He seemed as relaxed as he had at the pool in Joker, though he had a considerably greater amount of clothes on. "That's... impossible... There can't be... more than one of you. It's..."

"I don't have time to waste explaining this to you idiots in great detail. It fact of the matter is that you two are done. Your plan failed." Arthur smiled and Alfred sat up. They jumped to the ground and pulled out their swords. "Surrender or die." The knights had let America go to get their own swords, leaving the young man to move to England. "Like the plan?" he whispered in the Brit's ear. "It is pretty entertaining." He looked up at America and hugged him closely. "I missed you." America buried his nose in England's hair, smiling. "Almost done with this. Then we can go home."

"NO. WE CAN NOT SURRENDER. KNIGHTS. ATTACK THEM!" American and England had almost no time to react. "America, England!" Matt tossed them two swords which had been brought in the case this would happen, and suddenly the rest of the soldiers that had come from Spades flooded the clearing, screaming as they charged the knights. More pawns and knights rushed into the clearing as well, coming from hiding, also having been prepared. Alfred immediately jumped in to battle the dark queen, who had pulled out a long black sword that seemed to be made of death. They started to clash swords, the sound of metal on metal sounding thru the forest.

Arthur was fighting the light queen, who had turned deadly as the battle started. She was still giggling, but mostly because her blindingly white swords seemed to give her the upper hand against the Queen of Spades. They were, in fact, evenly matched at swordplay, but her weapon had its own strength. If only Arthur could tap into the magic of the vault without actually opening it...

America and England had started fighting the kings. They moved slowly but made up for their speed with the crushing blows they served with their opposite colored maces. England was quite comfortable with a sword while America only had the last few weeks of training behind him. True, he had historically used swords, but he had always been better with guns. And he had certainly never been able to match England. Anyway, they ended up mostly on the defensive, having to recover heavily from the attacks.

Matt, Yao, Gilbert, and the Card soldiers of Spades were very busy with the knights and pawns. The pawns were easy to slay; they were created by the matter the queens could control. But there were a lot of them. The knights were men, more resilient and certainly more capable. Still, the tides of the battle slowly turned in favor of Spades. England found an opening with the light king and drove the sword home, straight thru his bony body. He didn't bleed. He simply collapsed to the ground, the bones that had made him a person falling apart until he was nothing but dust. If he was being honest, England found it... quite disturbing actually.

The light queen screamed as she felt her husband crumble to ash. This gave Arthur the opportunity to run her thru. White blood spilled to the forest floor, and she fell back, continuing to scream until the blood spilled from her mouth as well. As the woman died, ever pawn she created turned to stone. Looking around, the dark queen realized she was going to lose. She screamed and made a last desperate attack at the king, trying to take out all of her anger on Alfred. "NO! NO! YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!" She knocked his swor aside and shoved him to the ground. She grinned mercilessly as Alfred stared back defiantly, but with a flash of fear. "Now. You will die." She raised the sword above her head and started to bring it down.

She suddenly stopped. The forest was silent. No one seemed to even be breathing. She looked down to her stomach to see the shiny tip of a silver sword, drenched in her black blood, protruding from her abdomen. She turned to see America smirking behind her. "You didn't notice like your sister did. Your husband died a while ago." She followed his eyes to where a pile of dust and bones lay, blowing away in the wind. And with that, the dark queen of chess died. She didn't scream in pain. She had already done that when she felt her husband die; she just didn't know it. No, she was done.

White and black blood mixed as the soldiers cheered around the clearing. The knights has immediately surrendered after seeing their kings and queens die, while all the pawns had turned to stone now. There was no more fighting, though the battle had taken only a matter of minutes. The day was ending as the cold of night set in and everyone was anxious to return to the palace for a feast. The plot to end Spades had been stopped. Alfred and Arthur hugged and kissed, Gilbert started dancing, and Matt and Yao sighed with relief. America made his way over to England, who was wiping his hands on his tattered clothes.

"I have undead king dust all over me. I absolutely hate this universe." America couldn't help but laugh, making England scowl. "Now look here-" He was cut off by a strong, passionate kiss. He didn't even try to fight, but let himself melt into the man he had been in love with for so long, who had rescued him- albeit in a strange, round about way- and who he knew loved him back. So the two, the British and the American, who had spent the last few weeks pretending to be people they weren't, simply enjoyed each other.


	14. The End?

America and England were in the center of the rose maze again, staring at the very same hedge that had gotten them into trouble. The King and Queen (for they had been crowned and married) stood behind them, Arthur looking thru a book of spells and Alfred telling him magic didn't exist. The two countries were silently reminiscing over the past few days.

It was the first day of sunlight. They had spent the week that it had been raining planning the royal wedding, and they had been married that morning. America and England were anxious to return home, but they knew they couldn't leave without seeing this insane story all the way to the happy ending. So they had stayed in the shadows while their look alikes said their vows. America had been rather uncouth about the whole thing, laughing loudly at the most inopportune moments. Still, England couldn't find it in his heart to shut him up. It was just so America.

They had watched as Alfred and Arthur became the official King and Queen, though the ceremony had taken much longer than it should have because it was after the wedding reception... and their had been champagne... oh well.

So the sun was setting on their time in Spades, as well as the day itself. They were standing at the supposed portal back to earth. "Alright guys, I think I got it. Just stand over there... and think of home I guess." America rolled his eyes. "You don't sound incredibly sure." Arthur narrowed his eyes. "Trust me, I'm doing all I can to send you home. I don't think I can deal with more than one Alfred around here. Spades certainly couldn't take it..." Alfred stuck out his tongue and kicked the queen in the shins. "OW!" Alfred smirked. "You don't get to insult me anymore. I'm your superior." Arthur scowled. "That'll be the day."

England was growing weary. "Can you save your married couple bickering until America and I are back in our own time and place? I don't know. Just a suggestion." Arthur smiled while Alfred slipped his arms around his husband's waist. They seemed pleased to be married, though it didn't seem like it would really change anything. They acted like an old married couple way before today.

"Alright. Well. I suppose we should thank you. You have no idea what you have done for us." England raised a bushy brow. "Pretend to rule your kingdom, get kidnapped, kill your greatest enemies. Am I correct?" Alfred and Arthur looked both speechless and a bit guilty. Alfred rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up." American laughed and swung his arm around England, pulling him into an awkward sideways hug. "But we came out alright, right England?" He placed a kiss on his lover's forehead, making the British nation blush.

"Thank you though. Really." America and England nodded gracefully while Alfred started waving like a madman. Arthur was holding his giant book and started chanting in some unknown language. The two nations watched as the vines from the hedge grabbed them a second time and a thin blue mst surrounded them, cutting off the sight of Arthur and Alfred, the queen still reading from the book and the king with a hand on his shoulder, waving goodbye.

* * *

England opened his eyes and stared up at the early morning light. The sun was just peaking over the beautiful hedge that reached to the sky above them. His hand was clutched around a little metal object, cold as the grave to the touch. He didn't really want to move for fear that they had gone anywhere. That they were still in Spades. "Dude are we back?" England glanced to the left of him to see America, the crown they had found originally resting on his honey blonde hair. They were no longer dressed in the fancy clothes from the wedding.

England smiled at the sight of his lover's favorite jacket. It was certainly a good sign that they were back. "I bloody hope so. I'm so over crazy royals and board game themed kingdoms." England groaned as he sat up, rubbing his shoulders. They were on the outside of the maze, not in the center. Or so it seemed. But when England turned around there was no maze. It was just a rose bush. He was staring at the bush when he felt arm slither around his waist and pull him into America's lap. "Hey, let me go you git." America laughed and kissed him lightly.

"You know. Even if we are back, we are still lost in the forest..." England looked at him, horrified. "With the evil badger?" America bit his lip to hold back the laughter that threatened to show itself. "Yeah. The evil badger." America pressed his lips to England's forehead before standing up and pulling him with. England wasn't totally healed from his time in Chess, which still made America feel guilty. ("Some hero I was," had been said more than once, only to be reassured by a kiss. That usually led to something more...)

And so the two countries who were indeed back in their universe, started towards the direction of the sun. It didn't take them even five minutes to arrive back at England's house. "How the hell did we get so lost, we were like a fucking block from your front door!" England had to agree with the American. It wasn't possible. Was it? He walked into his home, only to be ambushed by none other than France.

"MON AMI! I was so worried, you didn't respond to any of my perverted texts and calls! You never ignore them." America snickered as England blushed, prying the Frenchman's arms from around his neck. "It's not what you think. I reply with things like 'Go fuck yourself'." America rolled his eyes. "Sure. I believe you." France was staring at America, his mouth gaping. Then he started to smile. "Ohononon, Angleterre. You should have told me you and Amerique were planning a rendezvous. I wouldn't have been so worried."

England rolled his eyes. "Worried my arse. You were probably hoping I was dead." America bit his lip to stop from laughing. France moved to respond, but thought better of it after seeing the glare sent in his direction. The French intruder instead turned to America. "So. You must tell me all about your night out with our dear Brit." America stared at France, trying to process what he said. "... Night? As in one night?" France raised an eyebrow. "Oui. I saw you both yesterday so I know that it was only one night. At least, only one this time..." He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked perversely, but England and America weren't paying attention.

"One night..." England was leaning against the door to his kitchen, staring at the floor. How the hell did almost a month fit itself into one night? "You're absolutely positive, right?" France rolled his eyes and leaned back in the loveseat he was occupying. "Of course, mon ami. There was a world meeting yesterday. And there's another today, which is why I simply had to find where you two had wandered off to." He looked over at America. "Which reminds me, your frère is looking for you as well."

America sighed and pulled out his phone to call Canada. It would be weird to hear the non-ass kicking version of Canada again, but he realized he kind of missed it. It was... stable. Something that had always been there. And in Spades it just wasn't. Yeah, he was happy to be home even if home did involve France jumping his lover the moment they walked in the door. Another stable thing in their lives.

"Come along, my slippery love devils. We have a meeting to attend!"

* * *

The meeting was boring, except when Canada slapped America for not calling the night before. "If you plan on disappearing for a night, the least you could do is CALL and tell me. I can't say I give a shit what you do, but I hope you're happy I was up all night worrying about you." Canada's face was red and his voice was at the level most people hold conversations at; a new volume for the quiet nation. America stared at his twin for a minute before laughing and pulling the smaller man into a hug. "Bro, did I miss you."

Now Canada was red embarrassment. "America, stop it. How could you have missed me, you were gone for one night." America smirked and raised his eyebrows. "Weren't you just chewing me out for that?" Canada looked like he was going to respond, but eventually just shut his mouth, shook his head, and went to sit in his (and Russia's) chair.

Everyone was there except Spain, Veneziano and Romano. England and America were paying particularly close attention, trying to take in all they had missed on their month long trip to Wonderland. It surprised America how much he missed Prussia's shouting for recognition, Germany's constant demanding for attention, and France's perverted comments.

So yes, the meeting went well. Until everyone heard a very loud, "VEEEEEEEEEEEE~" slowly getting closer. Germany dropped his head onto the table, groaning. "Hey West, why wasn't the little Italian here earlier? He's not usually THIS late." Prussia was spinning in his swivel chair for most of the meeting and this was one of the first comments he had that seemed logical. "I asked his brother and Spain to keep him busy today. I thought they would be growing tomatoes or something all day but..."

The door crashed open to reveal and crying, sweating, out of breath Veneziano, looking ready to pass out. He slipped to the floor, catching his breath for a moment before launching into a half screaming, half Italian monologue. "ITALY!" Germany's voice rang thru the room, shutting Veneziano up, though he still hiccuped from the crying. "Please. Calm down." Italy looked wildly around the room.

"CALM DOWN? How can I calm down when mi fratello is MISSING!?" The room mumbled at this, while America and England met each other's eyes. A nation missing? Hadn't they had enough excitement for one day? "Please Italy, what happened?" Germany was kneeling next to Italian, reminding America of Ludwig and Feliciano back in Spades. Were they really an item... was this really the time to be thinking about that? The boy pulled his knees to his chest and sniffled before taking a deep breathe.

"So big brother Spain and Romano and I were Spain's tomato garden. We were just picking some of the big red ones when all of a sudden... all of a... OH GERMANY IT WAS HORRIBLE!" The boy broke down in tears again grabbing onto Germany's shirt and using it to wipe his nose. Prussia was laughing behind him while Germany looked caught between strangling and stabbing Veneziano. America got up and put a gentle hand on Italy's shoulder, pulling his a little away from the German.

"What happened Veneziano. We need to know so we can help." Veneziano nodded and dried his eyes again. "The tomato vines... they... they ATE Spain and fratello!" England felt his heart stop and America turned to face him. They knew exactly what was going on. Or at least more than the others. The room was shouting now, some saying it was only a matter of time until they were all eaten, some saying Italy was crazy, and one saying they should all be one with Russia. (Three guesses on who that was.)

Veneziano was shaking his head. "I told Romano not to eat so many tomatoes. I told him they would get their revenge!" "How do you know they didn't just fall thru?" Japan, ever the level head, asked. "They weren't inside, on the other side or anywhere at all! They were just... gone! And the vines. They snaked around their bodies like they were alive."

France was staring at England. "Angleterre, if this is your doing, because it sounds of you, you really need to get over that Spaniard hating thing." But England wasn't listening. He and America were having a conversation thru their eyes. Eventually they decided on the one thing they could both agree needed saying. "Oh shit."

* * *

**THE END. Or is it?**

**I haven't decided if I'm going to do a Spamano spin off this, but I am considering it. Sorry that there was no more smut but I just have had no time to write and wanted to update this. Maybe I'll make a smutty oneshot at some point. Anyway, thanks for reading, hope it was worth your time. I would like opinions on if my next story should be like greaser America themed or post apocalypse. Please tell me if you'd like on or the other :) love you all. **


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